Query About Being Queer

Dear Brian,
I just wanted to ask if being gay was wrong because my family absolutely hates the gay community. I'm only 18 years old and I'm afraid to tell them about me. Anyway, I know I probably sound really chicken but still I needed to tell someone about it because even my friends don't know, and I can't confide in anyone because they wouldn't understand. I'm the typical gay. I love to decorate. I definitely know how to dress and how to dress others. But of course no one knows, I mean I even go with girls to cover up. I'm going all out to stay in the closet! And to make matters worse, I live in NW. ARK. so there are not any gay teens for at least 100 miles. I don't know what to do. I need help. I try hard to resist getting aroused at guys in the locker rooms and showers. That is extremely hard to do! Just if nothing else, thanks for taking time to read this letter even if you don't email me back. Thanks.
- Joey

Dear Joey,
Being gay is not wrong. It's perfectly natural and normal. The fact that you can't resist your attraction to other guys is indicative of that. You are simply experiencing a desire that comes naturally to you as a homosexual. Trying to resist your natural desires is futile and foolish. To do so will not make you straight, only a closet case who denies his homosexuality but still yearns to express it. As for your family, others were and are in your predicament, so you are by no means alone. If you can't confide in anyone in your area, search the Internet for chat rooms and message boards for young gay people who are also isolated. But be careful. Such groups also attract pedophiles and others of less than sterling character. At 18, your future may still seem to be a lifetime away, because before you know it, you're an adult. Consider going to college in another state, one known for being more queer friendly. You may even be able to base a career on your love of decorating and fashion sense. Lucky you, both occupations are very open and accepting of homosexuality. Whatever you do, be patient. You have your whole life ahead of you and, in no time, you'll be on your own and free to be yourself in all your gay glory.

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