In love with a much younger man

Dear Brian,
I'm 43 years old and in love with a 19 year old young man. We live way across the country from each other, but he will be visiting for three weeks with me. I have always said that age plays a role as to howlong a relationship will last, but I feel that what I have right now is going to last a long time. I have gotten to know this young man from his heart and soul. We have talked about so many things and I have never felt this way about anyone. I have had four serious relationships with married men and he has had three relationships with gay single men. I realize that he is old enough to be my son, but my heart feels young when I talk to him. He is very mature for his age. I have always been the young guy in the relationships, but now I'm the older guy and the one with more experience. My question is: can love really exist in a relationship like the one I have with my new love? I am going against all odds, but my gut feeling keeps telling me that I'm making the right move!!! We understand each other very well and have both become monogamous in this relationship since we asked each other to be a couple. What can you tell me that will reassure my feelings for this handsome young fellow?
- In Love!!!

Dear In Love,
Humphrey Bogart was 45 and Lauren Bacall was 19 when they made their love legal, and their relationship became the stuff of legend. Why can't a gay male couple also find happiness despite a difference in their ages? No reason at all, providing both partners are equally committed to each other. It sounds like you've struck gold with your young lover. But just as every relationship requires a certain amount of compromise to ensure the happiness of each partner, one between men of different ages may require more.

At 43, you may (and I emphasize the "may" because I'm making an assumption) be more inclined to settle down and concentrate on building a comfortable home life. At 19, your lover may still want to test his wings and may want a more active lifestyle. But as long as you love each other, and are both willing to meet each other half-way, your relationship can succeed and endure.

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