Married Guy Giving Me the Eye

Dear Brian,
This married guy has been giving me the eye for eight years. I know he is gay or bi because my "gaydar" goes off every time I come in contact with him. I work in a food store. I like him and I know he feels the same. But he is married and I will not chase him like others I know would. He makes a point to flirt with me or stare very hard. I am just sick of the eye thing. I started to ask him what is his problem is but changed my mind. How can I find out what is up with him? Thanks.
- Kurt

Dear Kurt,
Your admirer is either looking for some action on the side or simply getting a sexual charge from flirting without any intention of following through with it. He flirts to express his sexual desire for men, but by not acting on it he isn't putting his marriage at risk or making any kind of emotional commitment. He may be hoping you'll make the next move in which case he can delude himself into thinking he's not responsible for what happens. He may even get cold feet and flee. If you're interested, return the eye contact but let him make the next move. If you're not interested, just ignore him. A married man is bound to be trouble anyway.

Back to advice archive