Tangled Web...

Dear Brian,
Do I need advice! I am a 47-year-old bi-sexual man. I do not LOOK anywhere near my age, nor am I perceived as being middle-aged. I have been with my 19-year-old lover for a year and we are very much in love. The PROBLEM is that he and both his parents (two years older than me), think I am only 26! I can't keep covering my ass much longer...HELP.  This is the Real McCoy, HONEST.
- Forever Young

Dear Forever Young,
Oh dear!  Your problem is tricky. So, what to do? The first option, and perhaps the most unpleasant, would be to tell the truth. If you and your lover are truly in love, he should accept it. His parents should accept it too. After all, they're open-minded enough to accept that their son is in love with another man, so why shouldn't they be open-minded enough to accept a difference in ages? But I can also imagine a darker scenario with your boyfriend feeling he's been deceived and his parents viewing you as a dirty old man, a pervert preying on their son. Since you describe yourself as bi-sexual, are you planning a permanent gay relationship with this young man? If not, I'd just keep quiet about the age issue. But if you are planning a future with him, I think he deserves to know the truth.  In that case, what his parents think is not important. But having said that, you could also shade the truth just a tad by cutting 10 years off your real age (I mean, really, who tells the truth about their age these days but 19-year-olds?)  You'll still be 17 years his junior, but you'll also be 13 years younger than his parents, and if you can pass for 26 at 47, you should be able to pass for 46 when you're 57. Still, you are probably better off being honest and letting the cards fall where they may. Living a lie is a stressful way to live. Gay guys who've been uptight closet queens can tell you all about it.

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