Boys Will Be Boys

Dear Brian,
I am a 19 year-old male having boy issues. It seems that no one wants to go on a date with me. I have no trouble finding people for sex, but that is just not what I am after. I have gone out with a few boys, mostly in my age group, but they all seem far too eager to make it to the bedroom and so get shot down. It seems that the quickest way to a man’s heart isn’t through his stomach, but a little further south. I don’t want to compromise my standards but I am starting to get annoyed and lonely. Help!!
- drryan9

Dear drryan9,
You know what they say: Boys will be boys. Gay and straight alike, boys are especially boys when it comes to sex. They like it. The male is said to reach his sexual peak at age 18. In other words, teenage boys are a horny lot. But there are boys who are interested in more than sex. It’s probably a good idea not to look for boyfriends in the places where you’ve met potential sex partners. Wherever that place is, it could be that it’s a cruising area, where the sole purpose is to find a man to have sex with. Look elsewhere. What are your interests? Do the things you like to do, and you’ll meet people who like to do the same things. Look for boys to be friends with first, rather than a "boyfriend" in the romantic and sexual sense. And don’t be too quick on the draw. That is, don’t shoot boys down at the first sign that they want sex. Don’t compromise your standards, but be flexible enough to appreciate that you’re considered sexually attractive, and a boy would naturally want to have sex at some point. If they’re all hands, or pressure you to do something you don’t want to do, then by all means, shoot them down. But I assume your lack of interest in sex doesn’t mean you’re opposed to sex, only that you require something more meaningful before belts are unbuckled and zippers are opened. Let them know how you feel. If they’re interested in you, they’ll respect your standards, and be patient enough to wait until you’re ready to get physical.

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