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Dating Doublespeak
Things you might hear from a date at the end of the evening when they know they're not planning on ever seeing you again.
- "Good luck with..."
- "I'll call you."
- "Hey, keep in touch!"
- "What was your roommates name again?"
- "My psychic thinks I shouldn't be in a relationship right now."
- "Now you take care!"
- "Um... it's been real."
- "I'll see you around."
- "Bye <Insert a name that vaguely sounds like yours here>!"
- "Okay.... later"
- "I hope you find what you're looking for."
- "Gee, I think I'm going to be busy for the entire summer."
- "Is your friend single?"
- "Oooh, will you look at the time?"
- "I'm just going to the corner store for some cigarettes."
- "It's not you, it's me."
- "It's not me, it's you."
- "You know... our star signs don't match."
- "Let's just be friends."
Things you don't want to hear on a first dinner date:
- "Don't worry, babe. Moustache wax isn't toxic if you swallow it."
- "Are you gonna eat that whole steak?"
- "Whoa! Easy on the dessert!"
- "Oops! I can't believe I left my wallet/purse/money at home. again."
- "Shix drinkz sin't drunkk. iiii kin still drrrive."
- "Why don't we skip dinner and just head off to your place for a quickie? ...because I've got another date in an hour."
Things you should never say in the heat of the moment:
- "I'd like to have an open relationship."
- "Have you started yet?"
- "Could you hurry up? My favorite show is on soon."
- "Hmm, I just remembered. I'm out of milk and cereal."
- "You think your sister would be interested in a three-way?"
- "Oooh, Steven" (your name is Sean)
- "This is my first time." (she says as she pulls out a whip)
- by Brenda Ross
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