Dear CJ,
To explain: Younger women are attracted to 'wilder' guys, and that type of guy characteristically seems to lack sensitivity. Why go for this kind of man? Because she isn't ready to settle down and start a family, so she can afford to experiment with her dating 'power." The tables turn when she gets a bit older, like say early thirties, and she realizes that she wants to get serious about relationships and weddings and family and babies and she realizes that the bad boy probably isn't the best candidate for that job - so she'll start to focus on 'the nice guy' because she wants someone dependable to settle down with. And if she's lucky, all the nice guys won't all have found someone else by then.

The woman who attracts the more extreme types, such as the alcoholics and verbally or physically abusive types, more than likely are drawn to this type of man because of the type of childhood they themselves experienced. For example if Dad drank a lot, and Mom suffered and worried, Daughter will grow up, find an alcoholic man and try to 'fix' him, therefore attempting to heal her own problems with her father. You stick with what you know. And the same applies for frustrated nice girls who are attracted to 'seemingly nice guys' who themselves only go for bitchy or broken women.

Bottom line: Don't attempt to change your natural behavior just to get a girl. Sooner or later you will be discovered and loved for who you are. Keep yourself busy making yourself the best person you will be. Always keep your standards high.

View Readers' Responses
Find out what others thought about this advice

Back to advice archive