Role Reversal – Could I scare her away?

Dear Brenda,

I am 31, and have recently met a girl who I really like. She is a very caring, loving person, unlike anyone I've ever met before. We have common values, share many common interests, and very frequently have the same thoughts. There really seems to be something there. We have been in each other's company several times, and have only gone out twice. Based on what she has said, written, and how's she has acted, there is no question that she feels the same for me and is interested in continuing this. The problem is that she is very busy with work, and will also be attending classes very shortly. I understand that she doesn't have much time but I am very anxious to be with her and for our relationship to grow. It's sometimes very difficult for me to be patient because I feel something for her, and I very much need to give my love to someone, and to be loved in return. I think that I may sometimes appear to be hurt or impatient when she tells me she won't be having much free time for a while, and I am fearful that this may turn her away from me. I honestly feel that this is worth pursuing, and may lead to something long term, which is what is most important to me. What can you suggest that I do to help me take things slowly and be patient?
- Gary

Dear Gary
The cool thing is you know that she likes and cares about you. And visa versa. So what do you do now? Take it slow. Be consistent, be dependable and have fun. If you hold off on rushing things, it will probably bring her closer to you. If you two click on enough levels naturally, then she will be in your life for a long time to come. It’s good that you know what you want, but you can’t let impatience run your life. It will kill any relationship that you try to build or sustain. Don’t forget that. It sounds like you know what your weaknesses are. Use them to your advantage. (Do the opposite of what you want to do.) Think about how you would feel if the situation was reversed - Let's say you were genuinely busy and you had two potential girlfriends - One who was always pouty because you didn't put her first for whatever reason, and another who had her own life but was supportive and appreciative of the time you did spend together. Which of those women would you rather date?
Be that girl, Gary!  ;-)

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