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RELATIONSHIP ADVICE - ASK BRENDA

Unintentional Speed Dating


Dear Brenda,

I've read all these topics about people breaking up after 2 and 3 years, and how hard it is on you.......well my relationship lasted all of 17 days. Heres how it went down.


For 12 days, we were with each other almost every waking hour, and everything seemed to be going fine. I opened up to her a lot, thinking I had gotten over a past bad experience with trust. She seemed to accept me for who I was, and was very affectionate towards me, and I back to her. On the 13th day, she moved out of her sisters house (near me) and into her moms house (an hour away). We talked on the phone every day from then on, but not long. She acted differently, and soon told me that she didn't care about anything.


On the last day of our relationship she calls me up and says "this isn't working out". I was in shock........she said the distance wasn't working out, so I told her she's the one who made the choice to move, so that couldn't be her reason. I told her to tell me the truth, and she says she met someone else.


It has only been 4 days since, but I'm still devastated, I can't stop thinking about her, and want to talk to her, but can't get ahold of her since she moved out of her moms house now, and lives with a friend that I don't know. I'm depressed all the time, and keep hoping she'll call back wanting me back.


So I'm asking... does this sound weird that I'm bothered so much by such a short relationship? I know it hurts, but friends keep telling me it was only 2 weeks...
- Mroddbal1



Dear Mroddbal1,

It takes time to get to know someone. All bets are off before 3 months of dating. Why? Because anything can happen, and usually does. This is why it's best to take things slowly, because at the beginning, you just don't know what kind of person you're dealing with. You know this makes sense, right? And the next woman you start dating, you'll know not to confide in her so much so soon. That's a lot of pressure when someone doesn't know you.


What's strange to me is, well, two things... I'm guessing you didn't know that she was going to move when you started going out, and that after your whirlwind courtship, she'd met someone new between day 13 and day 16. Maybe he was one of the movers.


It sounds like she's either a spur of the moment decision maker, or she just didn't tell you that she was planning to move, or that there was another guy in the picture. Personally, I don't think that there is another guy, my guess is that it was too much, too soon, and she freaked.



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