Said he needed some time alone

Dear Brenda,

I was over at my boyfriend's house this weekend and everything was okay. Some friends came over yesterday and we had a good time. Today was cool too but all of the sudden he got really quiet and seemed down. I went over and gave him a hug and he told me "I think i need some time alone, baby." I asked him what was wrong and he said he just needs some time alone. I told him I would take a bus home so he wouldn't lose his parking space but he insisted that he drive me home. He wasn't weird or anything on the way home, just a little quiet. He gave me a kiss goodbye and said "bye, sweetie" like normal. He still seemed sort of weird like something was wrong. Like he was depressed.

I know this question has come up before but:

What the heck does alone time mean?!?! Does it mean I made him sick? Does it mean he's getting ready to freak out and dump me? He's treated me like a princess this whole time. What's wrong?

P.S. I emailed him and asked how much time he needed and said that I could stay home this weekend if he wanted. I guess I'll just wait and see.
- Afrodite2103

Dear Afrodite2103,

He sounds overwhelmed. It isn't fair when you have no idea that someone is going to curveball you like this, but those are the people who typically get curveballed. The ones who don't realize that they are pushing a relationship further along before their partner is ready. I sugguest you give him some space, and everything will probably be just fine.

A perfect book for you would be Mars and Venus on a Date. It's excellent, and explains the five critical stages of dating. If you're farther ahead than he is is in any of these stages, he's going to do exactly what your guy did and pull back. This book explains exactly what is happening and tells you what to do in each situation.

Why don't you compile a list of glaring problems, keep it in your head for reference, then take her somewhere quiet and talk to her seriously about what you think isn't working. Things that she wouldn't be able to refute, such as "We don't have enough in common. We argue too much. Our cultures/religions/core values differ too much, etc." Try not to attack her personally, but let her see that you make sense and that you're thinking of the greater good for the both of you, and that you respect her enough to want the best for her, even if it isn't her. This is ultimately nicer on your part and more mature (which will be remembered with respect) than doing a slow torturous fade or acting like a jerk to get her to break up with you.

One question you could ask yourself is this: If the situation were reversed, how would you want her to handle it?

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