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RELATIONSHIP ADVICE - ASK BRENDA

I need help understanding his signals


Dear Brenda,

Basically to make this semi-short, I was in a relationship for 6 years (I'm 25), so I am fairly inexperienced in the whole dating arena.


Anyways, I am working at a 2nd job until Monday (it's a 2 week stint), and I have been encountering this man who is a manager in another department. He turns out to be good friends with my manager, with whom I work closely. I am having problems understanding the signals I think I am getting from this guy.


Right now I feel that I am infautated with him because he is good looking, very personable, professional and smart, and I do want to try and pursue something further, but how do I know or get some sort of idea that he is interested in the same thing, other than just us catching each others' glances all the time?


Whenever I see him, it is usually in a group setting, and of the one time that I did see him alone, I just felt that you could cut the tension with a knife. We talked about something silly (I can't even remember half of it, something about how our feet hurt from walking around) & I think I have a pretty good intuition, but how can I overcome my shyness (or fear of rejection) and find out what he's thinking?


The other night he got in this little cat and mouse chase with two of the other girls in my dept. and I was hurt. I was more hurt at the fact that I tried to initiate it, but backed off for fear of upsetting him and then the three of them continued where I left off. So, after that, our group sat down to dinner and I was sulking. He was quiet pretty much right away and his co-worker noticed that he was quiet (guess he normally isn't quiet if the other guy brought it up), and he mentioned something silly about the food.


He also does things that make me laugh, like for example last night my cell phone rang and he mentioned something like "giddy up" because my ringer sounded like a horse race. I just had to laugh then.


So....am I just infatuated with something I probably won't get, should I look for some more signals, or just get off my butt and do something forward towards him? I don't have much time.
- LittleMissWI



Dear LittleMissWI,

On your last day of work, about an hour before you leave, pull this cutie-pie aside, hand him a dish of homemade cookies (with your first name and phone number (not too small) taped to the bottom of the dish), covered by the cookies. Tell him that you really enjoyed meeting him, and that you hope to see him again someday soon. No pressure. Then just give him a wink, smile, and walk back to your department. If he's interested, he'll take it from there. If he liked you at all, he'll be very touched that you put the effort into something like that, and he'll be all over it. My point is to do something for him that the other cat-and-mice wouldn't even think of. Plus you wouldn't have to literally ask him out, which wouldn't work too well anyway if you're shy, and regardless, you'll feel better about yourself knowing you made the effort to do something that would bring you happiness.


Good luck!



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