Living together - Less EAGER To Commit?

Dear Brenda,

Would you live with someone before you married them? My mother says that she never did that and would not do that because It makes a man less eager to commit. Basically it's like: Why should I commit if she's living with me already? I'm not sure... I used to think it was okay.... I see her point but at the same time I feel that two people could live together and be true to each other and tie the knot. What do you think? Does living together make a man less eager to commit?
- babysugahgrrl

Dear babysugahgrrl,

I think it depends on the man's age. Think about it. If he's over 35, he's probably less likely to want to play house just to live with someone (unless she's his sugar mama). I would think that if a man is willing to uproot his life to live with a woman, then he's probably thinking of marrying her at some point. I've asked a lot of men about this, and they all pretty much say the same thing.

If I wanted to get married at some point, I would never just move in with a guy and hope for the best. I'd tell him before we did anything that at some point I want to get married (to him) and if he had problems with it, now's the time to back out.

I think every guy wishes he could "test drive" a woman by living with her first. Some say okay and some say no way. Some guys can get overwhelmed with too much at once, so you do what makes sence at the time, and take it in steps. I think many guys sometimes forget that getting married can actually include long engagements.

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