Spamming for Love - How to Get Better Responses

Dear Brenda,

I am a 48 year old male, divorced, no kids. I belong to 3 date sites. I browse a lot and send many e-mails to women ages 34 to 53. My approach is something like this:

Hi... I read your profile and saw your photos, you are an interesting attractive woman. I'm Joe, i live work in Ct. I cut hair for a living.. There is so much more to say... perhaps we can chat sometime... Caio.. Joe

I also leave my e-mail so all can reply... My problem is only 1 out of 10 reply back to me.. Why? What am I saying wrong? Can you suggest a better ice breaker?? Thanks.
- Rainman6216

Dear Rainman6216,

If you are getting a 1/10 response rate from that form letter, consider yourself a lucky man! Women are bombarded with e-mail from what I like to call "love spammers". Who has the time to write back to everyone who just cuts and pastes a form note without taking the time to write a sincere note of introduction? Women like to feel special - so compliments, while always well-received, mean nothing if they come in a form letter that you blast out 50 times a day. They are actually more offensive. So if you are asking me to write you a new form letter, I won't do it. What I will do is point you in the right direction. If you are just looking for a date with ANYone, keep doing what you are doing. But if you are looking for real love and a potential relationship, treat this like finding a job. Take the time to learn about your potential employer...i.e. READ her profile.

Send a BRIEF note of introduction that actually addresses something she says in her description. My favorite letters always commented very specific excerpts from my profile vs. vague general compliments. DON'T make your letter all about you - unless you are commenting on something compatible with her description. She should be able to read the basic information in your profile. PROOF READ your resume (profile) as well as your solicitations (what I saw above had several errors). Closing with "I'd love to learn more about you!" is always nice too. There you go, Joe, a piece of a form letter.

P.S. On the flip side, I do acknowledge that the process of pouring your heart out to a woman who isn't graceful enough to write back a simple "thanks but no thanks" can be quite frustrating. For the real hat trick, I will flip it back again to say - IF you do receive the "thanks but no thanks" response, don't ask "why not?!!!!" or call the lady a foul name for not liking you. It's over. She may like brown hair, or shorter men or men from Texas - either way her response won't help you get a date with her. And it isn't her responsibility to help you get the next one. If we can all just do our parts and be polite, it will be a much kinder process for everyone.

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