Is He the Best that I can do?

Dear Brenda,

I don't think I will ever meet anyone. I am through with guys and through with everything. What are the chances of my finding someone who I am attracted to and want to be with and THEY feel the same way about me?? What, 1 in a 1000 maybe. I am done. It took me so long to have feelings for someone. It took me, ever since I started dating...5 years? It's done. I am through. I am only attracted to players who treat women like crap. And guess what, my boyfriend called me up and sweet talked me and now I'm back. I caved in because I have such low self esteem, and I feel he's the best that I can do. He is still fooling around with other girls, I am sure. I don't care anymore. I think he called me up on the phone while he was messing around, because I swear I heard something going on. But, I don't care anymore. Then I started to date this guy who I started to like. I swear, I thought he would treat me so much better, but he turned out to be a player also, and just played with my feelings. I am so sick of these little boys, but you know what, these are my peers, I guess I have to wait until they I turn 30 before I can date again, because I am sick of these little boys who think they are slick.
- venus2001

Dear venus2001,

You're being too hard on yourself. Of course you will meet someone. We all live and learn. Dating is a process. We date different people to find out what we do want and what we aren't willing to put up with. No one was born with a rule book, and human beings aren't the easiest to figure out, so please, cut yourself some slack. If you feel someone is 'the best you can do" then you set yourself up for hurt because you don't value yourself enough to know that you do deserve better. So knock off that negative self thinking and work on what makes you happy right now. If that means taking a dating break, then do so. Dating can be very frustrating, but the eventual reward is worth the risk if you don't give up, treat yourself well, and know what it is you really want.

(And maybe the TV was on in the background when he called you).

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