What's a clever way to approach a stranger?

Dear Brenda,

I discovered dating late (21) and almost married the first person I dated (We were ALMOST perfect). The second girl I dated was not much like me (it was almost entirely sexual) and we didn't last more than three months. The first girl I unintentionally won over from a close friend and band mate. She dumped him and picked me up (to put it crassly, actually, it was cute in the end). The second I met in a poetry class at school (To date, I think writing classes are the best place to get to know others and be known). As I can no longer ignore relationships, I try to seek out places where I can comfortably talk with a new 'acquaintance' but not feel awkward about being alone. As a result I've been spending a lot of time in coffee shops. Not only are there generally younger women there, I have plenty of space to write, read, draw, etc. I see many available girls. My problem arises when it comes to attracting their attention. There have been a few times where some definite flirting took place, and a few times when I was approached out-of-the-blue, but to date, I haven't had the courage to show real interest in a girl across the room. (A side question: A few times I've made eye contact, smiled and gotten a quick turn away. Then the rest of the time they've glanced at me many times. Have I spooked them or are they trying to get MY attention?) I guess I'm searching for a way to know when to approach someone.
- QuietGuy

Dear QuietGuy,

For me, this answer is easy. When my friends would drag me to Irish pubs a few years ago, to avoid going out of my mind from boredom (as my idea of a good time isn't drinking heavy ales on a hard bench), I would bring my sketch book along and draw whoever I wanted to draw.

Eventually, the object of my concentrated gazes would notice me, and saunter over to find out what I was up to. This led to pleasant conversation, and as they were usually flattered not to mention the fact that I was so friendly and cute, they'd ask for my number. I'm teasing about me, but hey, it works. I wouldn't suggest asking permission to sketch first, just do it.

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