A kiss is just a kiss, or so the song from Casablanca claims. But when gay men lock lips in public, it's still the same old story: raised eyebrows, nervous giggles, and controversy. Last summer in Columbus, Ohio, a gay male couple kissed and hugged each other in a Greyhound bus station. According to the Cleveland Gay People's Chronicle, which reported the story in its January 24 issue, a security guard approached the lovers and ordered them to stop the "freaky-deaky shit." When they refused, management was called, further warnings were issued, and as time ticked by, one of the men missed his bus. Once word of the incident leaked out, he also lost his job. And this happened in a city that prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation.

A romantic kiss between men may be the last great taboo. Even in the movies where it seems that anything goes, a scene depicting male mouth-to-mouth had better be in a movie about an EMS crew. Otherwise, the movie is sure to fail at the box-office. If The Broken Hearts Club, a specialty film populated exclusively by gay characters, shies away from queer kissing, mainstream product like Philadelphia can hardly be expected to rock the boat even if it loses all credibility in the process.

Why is a queer kiss so worrisome?

Unlike sex, a kiss symbolizes love rather than lust. As long as society can define homosexuals by our sexual behavior, we can be dismissed as animals who fulfill our desires as mindlessly as dogs. Love is different. It may be blind, and even deaf and dumb at times, but it generally indicates commitment and, perhaps, monogamy. Lust is unthinking and hungers only for flesh, but love comes from the heart. A stranger to shame, love demands public expression and nothing expresses pure love as effectively as a kiss.

Straight couples kiss in public all the time without comment or condemnation. For that reason, gay men and lesbians want to kiss in public, too. A public kiss validates our love in the eyes of the world.

It may be surprising that gay men would even want to kiss. After all, gay men are still men, and everybody knows the male of the species is a sex-obsessed beast impatient with romantic gestures. Women want romance. Men want action. Certainly, most gay guys prefer to wrap their lips around another part of the male anatomy, but tongue swapping can be very erotic. It can also heighten the anticipation for the main meal to come and make it more satisfying.

But no matter how much experience a gay man has in the bedroom, some of us are novices at kissing our lovers above the crotch. We sometimes skip foreplay and get down to the business of going down and getting off. As Dr. David Reuben wrote in the original edition of Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask), "Homosexuality has a compelling urgency about it." Being a rather dim bulb, Reuben was stumped as to why, but the reason was as obvious as the homophobia that permeated his laughable tome. Laws against homosexual activities meant we had to be discreet. The "compelling urgency" was nothing more than our fear of arrest and public exposure. The incident in Columbus notwithstanding, we can relax more now, but if you've neglected kissing a man above his belt, where do you begin?

A mouth is a mouth is a mouth, so a man can kiss another man the same way he would kiss a woman. Unfortunately, that pearl of wisdom, though helpful to bisexuals and gay men who've spent time playing it straight, is meaningless for those of us who are complete virgins to the opposite sex.

It's really pretty simple, though, and any man who has navigated the more difficult terrain of oral sex shouldn't find it too challenging. But you may have to undo some of what you've learned from other oral activities. That thing protruding from the middle of his face is a nose, not a you know what! You need to avoid the nose when kissing, so tilt your head to the side. Rather than opening your mouth like a volcano, part your lips slightly and let your mouth meet his. No self-respecting queer could possibly be turned off by a French kiss, so introduce the tongue. Let the tip slide in and out of your partner's mouth as his tongue slides in and out of yours. Simple! Romantic, too, especially when standing with your arms around his neck, and his arms around your waist (or vice versa).

A kiss is just a kiss, but for homosexuals a public kiss is an act of empowerment, one more step we must take to claim our rights as full-fledged citizens of the human race. Equality won't come knocking on our closet doors. We must come out and claim it, and
public kissing is the most beautiful and enjoyable way to do it.

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