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GET MORE “SCHWAY” IN THE BEDROOM: FENG SHUI TIPS FOR DATING
By Marie Elena Rigo, Feng Shui Consultant, Interior Designer & Life Coach
So, you’ve gone out with that special someone, confirmed there’s chemistry, and you bring your date home for the first time. If you’re “lucky,” perhaps you’ll even visit the bedroom. Yikes! If a lot of anxiety surfaces, you’re not alone. But don’t panic. Here are some Feng Shui tips to help set the perfect mood, reduce distractions, and keep the romance alive. Who wouldn’t welcome a little help in those areas?
One of the most important Feng Shui principles to remember is that an adult/master bedroom is for rest and romance. Yep, that’s it – just rest and romance. And, while many of us use the bedroom as a multipurpose space (you know who you are), your love life and sleep will benefit from keeping the focus on these two areas (rest and romance…in case you already forgotten), and by removing things that are unrelated.
To invite love/romance in (and keep it in), we need to take the distractions out. WARNING: For some of you, the next statement may cause anxiety. So, take a breath and keep reading…you’ll be glad you did.
Tip #1
Remove the TV. Wait, let’s repeat that. Remove the TV. Before you say “no way,” consider this incentive: A recent study found that couples who had a TV in the bedroom had sex half as often as those that didn’t. Why? Because the TV is a major distraction. In fact, it sits there staring at you screaming, “Turn me on!” while your partner is silently screaming, “No, turn me on!” Perhaps it was less of an obtrusion years ago when TVs were 16 inches, but nowadays, you just can’t miss the 50” flat screen and its built-in temptation to watch. For those of you who are completely stuck on keeping a TV in the bedroom, try enclosing it in a cabinet or concealing it in some way. You’ll probably have more sex than couples who had the TV exposed, but less than if you remove it entirely.
Tip #2
Now that the TV is gone and you’ve recovered from the trauma, let’s remove some other distractions…including the computer, phone, and stereo. Trust me, you’ll notice the difference. If you must have music, try enclosing the components or setting up your iPod discreetly, as it plays your groovin’ love tunes.
Tip #3
Next up…photos. Since your bedroom is a private space for you and your partner, put photos of your family and friends in other parts of your home. There’s no better way to water-down intimacy than having the eyes of these folks watching from afar. Same with religious/spiritual images…even a gentle Buddha sitting peacefully can feel intrusive when you are in a passionate embrace.
Tip #4
And, speaking of eyes watching us – even our own can be triggering. Large mirrors in the space are distracting and reduce intimacy. Despite one popular belief (often held in Vegas) that mirrors enhance romance, most of us will actually feel better – and less self-conscious -- without them in the bedroom. If you do have mirrors, try placing them where they can’t be seen from the bed. If you have mirrored closet doors, flip them around on the runners or add a curtain in front that you can close as needed.
Tip #5
Remove any and all clutter -- especially clutter that’s visible in the space. Start with the surface areas (tops of nightstands/bureaus, etc.). Keep only what’s functional such as a lamp or clock, or those things that add beauty to the space like candles and plants. Remember that much like the TV, clutter is a distraction. So get rid of anything you don’t need, use or love to create a more restful and romantic environment.
Now that the clearing is complete, let’s make the room inviting and comfortable.
Tip #6
Does the position of your bed indicate you are open to partnership? If one side is pushed up against the wall, it would be hard to accommodate a mate (well, unless you want him/her to have to climb over you and wake you up to go to the bathroom). So, make sure there is equal space on either side of the bed for both people to get in/out comfortably. Also, add two bedside tables and two lamps – preferably of equal size to symbolize balance and equality (even if you perceive that you should maintain the control). And, position the head of your bed against a solid wall with a view of the door. This will help you and your date relax and be even more present with each other.
Tip #7
What’s on your walls? If you are still displaying sports, movie, or alcohol posters leftover from college, you may want to step it up a notch. A good guideline is artwork that is romantic or peaceful. Reminder: The image of a couple embracing will affirm love and partnership and nature scenes will inspire tranquility. And, even abstract artwork can add softness, style, and personality.
Tip #8
Assess your bedding. Still sporting the same ensemble since you moved in to your apartment nine years ago? Well, perhaps you can splurge on a new duvet cover, sheets, and pillows. If you do, go for warm colors (flesh tones are great) and sensual fabrics (e.g. cotton satin, microfiber, silk, etc.). Keep bold patterns & colors to a minimum – in fact, just accent with them instead of using them as a primary focus. This will help create a calm and welcoming environment.
Tip #9
Impress your date by setting the mood and controlling the ambience with soft lighting. Install dimmers and use floor and table lamps to avoid the jarring nature of overhead lights. Add window treatments (for the straight men reading this, window treatments are curtains, draperies or other coverings), area rugs, throw pillows, and blankets. Use candles, real plants with soft round leaves, and/or fresh flowers to complete the look and feel.
Tip #10
Take pleasure in your hard work. If your date does end up visiting your bedroom, there’s a good chance you’ll both enjoy the Feng Shui benefits. May the new “schway” in your bedroom support connection, romance, passion, sensuality, and hopefully a great night’s sleep for the two of you!
For more Feng Shui Tips, come and visit us at ToolsToLife.com- Please click here.
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