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Home > Dating Advice > Ask Brian > Question/Answer > Readers Respond |
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 READERS RESPOND |
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I don't look gay
Comment from Samantha
Please help me, I feel that I am a lesbian but ever now and again I get the urge to sleep with a guy. After I have had sex with a guy I feel like I should not have done that. I have been for counselling so please do not ask me to do that. Why do you think that I am feeling like this? I enjoy the sex with the man but after I feel I should not have done that. I have very strong feelings for women.
Comment from cobra22
Nothing could be worse looking is butch looking/acting lesbian. Be proud you are femine looking and atractive. The right person will find you if you give them some indication of your interest.
Comment from frances
Brian I have a guestion,im a tall women and lesbian but I look a little masquline,i never get hit on either,im older as well but,i look real good,great legs! I get honked @ wen I bike. I am sweet,loving,many good qualties,women dont give me the time of day,much less hit on.
Comment from isellavon1982
I'm a bisexual woman. Personally, I am attracted to women who do NOT look like the "typical" lesbian, i.e. butch or whatever you want to call it. I am attracted to women because they're women, not because they look like men but have the parts of a woman. Don't change yourself to get hit on more. Be yourself, and don't change for anyone else
Comment from Rnbowjen
I would advise 100% lesbian to call me - I would love to meet a feminine lesbian - I personally am not attracted to the stereotypical women I see in clubs - Nothing wrong with being butch - I'm a little soft butch!! But I do enjoy seeing feminine women!!!
Comment from michelene
I was in a 9year relationship with a woman and left the state and everyone I knew. I became involved w/a man who is my best friend and soulmate although we have never slept together as distance of separeation precluded this. I still love him with all my heart and always will but we will never and can never be together as one. I am much older now 54 and look 40 have a very independent life and would like to get back into dating women. A long time has past and somehow I feel some what lost and just a little intimidated. My body is in great shape and so is my mind. Where I have moved to now the lesbians are early teens to middle 20's from what I can tell. I am rather rusty and don't know where to begin. Any suggestion on how to get back into the swing of things. (or anyone of intrest already seems to be taken! lol) Start going to Lesbian bars and make your gay friends and a couple lesbian friends come with. Start going to lesbian night. Maybe part of the problem is you might be in the wrong venue. This a typical situation that "100% Lesbian" should look at and make a decision, since it is her decision to make. "100% Lesbian" may be doubting her sexuality, she wants to look straight, then just maybe she is straight, but because of friends or relationships she has had, she wants to be gay aven though she is straight. You are either straight or gay, not much inetween.
Comment from noraida1979
Can I have her email address!? :D The same exact thing happens to me a girl I was dating even told me 'I would've never talked to you in a club you don't look gay.' uuuuggghhhh!!!!
I am gay, but dont the problem is how does one chat up guys and how do you know that they are interested in u?
Comment from Alisa4un01
This used to happen to me all the time. I did exactly what you advised when I saw a cute butch I could not resist. I soon went from "that curious straight girl," to "When are you going to be free?" LOL!!
Comment from emily2006
I like feminine girls..and am one myself..don't change anything. If girls are so caught up in being leary of lesbians who "don't look gay"..they're not worth it in the first place, ya know? Silly girls..I'd prolly hit on ya! hahaha
Comment from girlwholookslikeagirl
call me!!! I am looking for a woman who looks like a woman and likes women! they are very hard to come by..i also am not stereotypical..please send her my email
Comment from butchfemme
100% Lesbian, you stated "I admit to being closeted at home and work for personal reasons." Which means that in general you try NOT to look gay. So why are you so offended when gay persons at the club don't think you are gay? I would admit that there is a lot of stereotyping within and outside the gay community, and if you are good with you appreance then boo hoo to everyone else, but you must realize that you may have created the very monster that is biting you now.
Comment from debacs
well, I happen to think that you shouldn't look "gay" I for one would personally like to ask you out if you don't!!!
Comment from ctsweetie
I completely agree with the above problem. I've been to gay bars and gotten hit on from a man assuming i was straight supporting my gay friends on a fun night out. What i have changed is my attitude and a bit on what i wear. Little changes like rainbow earings or a necklace might catch someone's attention. But surely, to be confident to be friendly to everyone and get the conversation going is the best move!
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