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Home > Feature Articles > Article > Readers Respond |
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 READERS RESPOND |
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What Men Value
Comment from chris
Thanks a lot, but there is this gal I am trying to win her love but the problem here is that she has been hot by a guy whom impregnated her and abandoned her too. I have tried all I can to prove to her that I really love her, but her response was that the word love means nothing to her.
Comment from sharona01
When men are calm and in a controlled situation love and health may come in tops, but put men in a strip club and get some drinks in him and little boy with be making some love with no condom on in a jiffy putting number 1 & 2 at the bottom of the list.
Comment from harliecharlie
Can I find one of these surveyed guys. Do they really exist?
Comment from vieanna
Not necessarily in conjunction with your survey, but something I have found that totally turns me away from responding to a man on a Internet dating site, is when they show themselves surrounded by beautiful women, or with a beautiful woman with his hand on one of her body parts. Not that I am insecure with the way I myself look, but it would leave that hint of '> Does this guy have a wandering eye ? Does he need to show himself with a beautiful woman/women to make me think he is attractive? When I am seeking a potential mate, HIS photos are all I am concerned with. Whether or not he is attractive to ME is what matters. So, guys, dare to go solo and show us what we're looking for.
Bull der dash!
Comment from Roxxanna
Surprising, but not at all. love is a concept that is the result of companionship, understanding, caring, sex, communication, etc. If anyone puts sex as N# 1, for a long lasting relationship, he/she is in the wrong place. There are plenty of porno sites on the web to satisfy this need. Or one night stands, that may be good for exploring purposes but not for a mate, or marriage.
Comment from elaine
Men value relationships second! I guess I've been dating the wrong kind of man.
Comment from Merrick
Wow! What an analysis of information. Now I know, I truly like this guy, however he doesn't have all of my requirements, but I like him a lot. And I thought men especially my man was more interested in other things instead of a deep and satisfying relationship. This is invaluable information that more women should know about. Thanks. Great information!
WOW!! This is GREAT info .. Thanks so much!
Comment from finch
I think that one needs to take age of the men surveyed into consideration. Experience tells me that the older men get, the more they value love and relationship. Similarly, career can be very significant during a portion of men's lives, usually usurping the need for both love and sex, during the "prime" business/career building years.
Comment from bluelady
this article is an eye opener..more power!!!!
Comment from pacer17
I would say that the survey by playboy is accurate especially with men over the age of forty. At least in my belief a person's health is the number one issue then looking for love and be loved. David
Comment from Alrbout22
Thank you Nancy Fagen....Its about time women really knew how men in general feel...Great story....Keep up the great work. Thanks.
Comment from kittinotkat2005
Wow! This really opened my eyes. I respect them all the more now. Thank you so much for opening my eyes on this.
Comment from dv1310
I think this is a very true concept! There are so many broken marriages and so much infidelity today, that I think more men are looking at a relationship of greater meaning than when they married the first time. I think that is very true for both sexes. We are not so eager to jump into a marriage, but are willing to seek out the right person that we most of all trust, can talk to and actually become friends with and then the relationship takes on that "Sex" thing that makes it even more meaningful and special!!!!
Comment from curtlnorris
I just want to say that I'm not surprised by this article at all. Sex is not everything, having good health and a peace of mind will bring the other values into play. If your not acting, thinking, or even plainly living healthy then how can you feel good about yourself along with others which bring the respect, friends and family life, and then money. Good article though so lets see some more.
Comment from HEARTWARMER11
I appreciate this study because In today's society, Woman believe all that men want is sex! So In result of this problem, I find it hard getting responses to my profile when I told nothing but the truth. And for those who are making it up as they type away, There getting all kinds of responses. It's like woman are afraid of the truth, when they say I want total honesty. But what there really going after is the better story. I have met people who say what you want to here, Sounds good right, But in the end they will stab you In the back when your not looking. So Ladies, If you want something real, Try some of the men who's profiles are hard to believe, because 7 Out of 10 times, He Is telling the truth. If It's a long term relationship you want, don't be afraid to take it! Thanks!
love, I wonder if they are separating lust and love?
Comment from momslittlebrat20
I think men need to look round because sex is not every thing. I lost some one who I really love and I don't dare to fall in love any more.
Comment from hobo60
Sex without love, is like overeating, when you are finished you wonder why you did it, and the lasting feeling is one of discomfort.
Comment from midgeta28
I found it interesting that men would value love more than "sex". This gives me a different perspective on the way I have previously felt that men thought. It is true that men and women are different. I feel men think in black and white and are logical thinkers, where as women, we see things in colors and details, we see the bigger picture and analyze everything and make a lot of compulsive decisions. This compulsive decision making works 90 % of the time, but it doesn't always work.... call it "gut feelings"
Great article, my priorities have family, friends and respect a little closer to the top than your survey. And, sex is on a sliding curve, sometimes its very important in my life, depending on where I'm at emotionally in a relationship.
Comment from perisherblue
This is what I have always hoped but it's good to actually see it in print. I hope one day to find one of these men.
Comment from LindaM05
Very good, I just wish men weren't so reluctant to let us know they feel that way.
Comment from sandy_hi3
hI I'm santosh, I'm very much for the points listed in this article. this survey is quite right to a very large extend. let this be an eye opener to most of the woman who think otherwise..................
Comment from leatherbritches
I am truly surprised!! I am 80,yr,s old and in my experience I have always met men that all they had on their mind was sex I was married to my children[6]father for 21 yrs and his every thought was sex, before housing, work, food or necessities of life. my second husband was a work alcoholic eating and sleeping were next with sex on the lowest on his mind when he got around to it was his motto I was married to him 27yr,s when he died from a massive heart attack .over work his Dr. said. but I would have had to hog tie him to keep him from going to his job he, was only 65 when he died
Comment from dinku
well well...nice to know this kinda different research result...but then who knows whether what they say is what they would really follow...its all the matter of talk but when it comes to walking that talk , then you get to know what the reality is...
Comment from Stacia
Playboy must have changed over the last 20 years. The articles I read taught men to be superficial, manipulative, and often downright deceptive all for the goal of sex. But, Playboy is just a reflection of our society, so maybe men have changed, too.
I would like to know more about how the study was done. What population of men were surveyed? What age of men were surveyed? How many people were included in the survey? How were the questions formed and how was it decided who you they should survey?
This is valuable input.
Comment from Foxy_stare
I'd like to say that I was surprised. But just at first. Yes, I'm rather young, being 20 y.o., but I've already had a chance to get acquainted with men's interests. They used to be thinking about sex almost all the time they communicate with you. But today men's opinion depends only on their friends' opinion and other men they know. I suppose they value sex only 'cause of everybody's words. People say they're interested in sex most of all. But they don't think the same. In our days people used to be conformists. And sometimes they agree with others and even don't pay attention to their own thoughts. To my mind it's no surprise that people (no matter, men or women) value their health and they try keep it as long as possible; all of us want to live in peace and independence. And I can't agree that only sex may make for all moral values of humanity. Yes, it's an important part of our life, it's worth thinking of in relationship. But as women as men want to make their life comfortable and secure.
Comment from godschild3652
The thing I value the most is life with god nothing can go wrong
Comment from Bushlee
It is not true. How comes money became number last and sex second last. It is pure lie.
Comment from rodeomom_61
I would like to find a man who wants love , the men I have been dating are just in to there self. maybe it just the age , 35-47. but I still look for Mr. right, or as close as I can get.
Comment from paul
My rating would be below, which is a mature very intelligent man, whose seen the knocks of life and lost millions of dollars, on Enron, Worldcom, lost his wife, gone bankrupt down to zero, and making himself a millionaire the third time round from nothing in 3 to 5 years. My rating is not based on your normal average working male, I'm an Entrepreneur who knows that 95% of women don't stick around once you haven't got money to pay for bills or a secure lifestyle, therefore this rating is a very logical rating based on facts of life, not on what is nice to have, but what is a must to have to survive in this materialistic world of ours. Of course a huge majority would disagree with me, but then they probably haven't been where I've been, and seeing as most people change every 7 to 10 years in how they feel or their environment, or what they want to do, then as Tina says, ‘What’s love got to do with it’. The most stable relationships are one’s where you are compatible in doing things you both like to do, not based on love alone, because if you have nothing in common, then love soon drifts away. (not sure about posting my username with my comments though, as you've asked). * Health - 89% * Money - 85% * Peace of mind - 84% * Work/Career - 75% * Friends - 63% * Respect - 58% * Sex - 49% * Education - 47% * Love - 45% * Family life - 40% * Religion - 30%
As a man I need a woman who will love for who I am and give peace of mind, and satisfy me with sex.
Comment from Shonique 891
This was shocking but I think this only applies 2 certain types of men you didn't try Barbados so I still think there a lots of work 2 be done
Comment from loverboy335
I absolutely agree with the respondents.
Greetings, this is very interesting and I think the result could have become even more interesting if the respondents were from a more varied background globally. Kind Regards
Comment from christy
That is what really values in life
Comment from qasimali
Love is friendship.
Excellent articles, the trouble is, that men mostly seem to be in denial and will not admit that they want a relationship and are self destructive with their own chances of being with the one they truly love by playing silly games by trying to get the female to chase after them once they have already made their move showing their interest, when it really needs the male to open up and tell the woman what he wants, not play silly games and when it's his turn to do the chasing after the woman he should, then everyone would be with the right person and be happy rather than suffering the pain by being with the wrong person on the rebound and/or by listening to a third/other self destructive people. Other people's advice is usually only good for themselves. Men need to learn to follow their own heart, listen to themselves, open up to the woman they love, follow their own dreams, and STOP playing silly games.
Loved it, and do hope it's sincere.
Comment from Rich
Well done and informative. Pleasantly surprise!
Comment from babygrlva
most men pretend that sex is on their mind 24/7 because of some of the people they hang with but when you really get to them then you get to see it's just not like that all
Comment from RockNRollGal
I find that hard to believe that sex is rated 9 on the list. When I was looking for a potential partner, I was looking for friendship first, and most of the men I talked to in chat rooms, talked about something sexual within the first few minutes talking to them. To me that was a big turn off as I would say what about getting to know the person first, before that subject had to come up. I found the men would stop talking once I told them I didn't want to talk about sex. They thought there was something wrong with me.
Most men value breathing too, but that didn't even make your list! Maybe that's why sex wasn't there too.
Comment from shasha
Surely, the above survey is very fair. When love comes in a person's life he becomes more sincere to keep that in a right way. Sex is only a very far approach when two right persons gets in love. Men gives important to love because on his run for career, money, etc. he became alone to fight with the real life. When he gets some love solace from somebody he give more respect and devotion to that. I don't know whether female takes it in serious way or just like for their enjoyment. When his love fail he will ruin mentally and physically for a while.
Comment from kathyfromchina
Men are just as lovely as women, aren't they. They are not another kind of species :). Thanks for this article and this survey.
Comment from Postman_1
This is a very good article, as a single man, it's good to see that, this has now been explained. because single men or men in general, get very tired of hearing that alls you want me for is sex, and to be truthful it can be a turn off for the man, when he is really and truly looking to Love & be Loved, sure the physical aspects of any relationship are important, but there's a lot more to a relationship then just the physical side of one, Thanks for bring this out into the open, and I hope a lot of woman read this about Men.
Comment from
Can you make the same study about women?
Comment from SteelandVelvet
You did not mention the average age for the survey. I am 44 and would totally agree with that list. However, at a younger age...it may have been a little different. Also surprised at how far down religion is positioned.
Comment from dinamite63
I was surprised, but glad to know 'what order men considered the 'most important thing was' to make them happy.' Thanks for sharing this article, am sure women will be 'happy' to read the RESULTS.
Comment from wondering
I am pleased to have read your article in the sense that it turns out that men are not really the dogs we are we made out to be. I believe todays society has a lot to do with why relationships are not long lasting happy relationships. for instance how are us men suppose to deal with such sitcoms as Desperate House Wives and still hold on to a relationship that dignity and love.
Comment from TexasAngelBug
Well I was very unhappy to see religion being last or second to last. I think that's what's wrong a lot in this world of relationships we don't put religion first, we might not have as many divorces. Sheila
Comment from Opeyemi
This is a very good survey. But as a matter of fact if, however, health top the survey, sex would come second while friends will follow. Some people are decisive. They do not like everyone to know their opinion about a particular issue.
Comment from tadpolepsm
I am glad to see that men value love high on their lists as well. The problem is that most men I have met online are just looking for a fling, or if they are looking for more, if they meet a woman that is just "OK" to them, but she is willing to go to bed with him he does!!! This can mislead a woman into thinking he is interested in her on a higher level. Women look at sex as a good time or as an indication of deeper emotional ties. It depends on what she is looking for or needs at the time. But most women want a deeper relationship with a man. That is why they try online dating to see who is out there! Sex to us is a bond, sort of an emotional link with a man. A man will sleep with a woman he feels zero for. That is the difference.
Comment from sdennis
Peace of mind and great sex - helps keep a man. He always returns to this type of woman and keep this woman in his life. Men hate women who nags and complaint. However, I am shocked to see health as number one.
Playboy???!!! I don't think so, all of my dates turned out to be men only interested in sex (over 26 dates).
Comment from memphisrasta
I agree that these things are important issues with men but the most important issue for this particular man is to live on in the next and subsequent generations. This idea/concept incorporates many of these issues into one and adds others to it as well. I am a 35 year old man from the Mid-South and I believe that our future is so much brighter when we have and raise an abundance of good wholesome children ready for the challenges of and to make changes to our current society. First and foremost a stable family life is important to raise children in so that they may be successful in the dog eat dog society we live in. This family life is different from the "traditional" family that most of us have been raised on. I am a proponent of a polygamous lifestyle. This is not because of the value that I put on sex but the necessity of sex and multiple wives in having large families. I have always been taught that there is power in numbers and that a house united can not be defeated. So if we can have larger families moving in the right direction on one accord we can start to change our society around for the better. Which is or should be the paramount issue for men and women alike because we currently are on the path of degradation and destruction. What do you think?
Comment from seeker150
I have a couple of questions if I may ask. Does loving soul (or French) kissing come under the category of love or sex? Also, I love soul kissing. I was born in the USA. My current girl friend born in Bulgaria has never herd of French kissing and is very reluctant to do it with me. We have been together for 4 months now (living together for 1 month). If I try it she laughs and says to go slow. She's been saying this for over 2 months already. Otherwise she is all I've ever wanted in a soul mate. She is affectionate as far as holding hands and cuddling go. However, he not desiring French kissing and reluctance to partake of it way heavily on my mind and I seem to be unable to come to terms with it. All of my past girlfriends and 2 ex-wives french kissed. They all were born in America. By the way my current girl friend is 59 years old and I am 61 years old. Thank you for any help you can offer me.
Comment from passion4u03
I believe that it's been proven that what is rated and what is really lived is actually opposite. Men should get the book "Love Romance and Love Letters", by Richard Dunnagan. Written by a man for men.....it's what all women wish our relationships were like.
Comment from farah
I think sex should be on no 3 coz men are sex maniacs I think being loyal also counts
Comment from vkd62025
Interesting. Not valid in any scientific sense, but has a "feel-good" aspect. There is no indication about the size of the sample, or the method of selection, nor is there any demographic information. Still, it's nice to see a group of men who have complex priorities.
Comment from rch4star
I think it's a little misleading. To men love is sex and sex is love. So, if they're in love, they're probably already having great sex +. Therefore It does throw the statistics off quite a bit I'd say. Why don't you poll that, and get a more accurate survey?
My priorities are as follows:- 1. Health 2. peace of mind. 3. Money. 4. Respect. Friends are fine if you have good genuine ones who will be there to help if /when you need them. Family. Good and same as friends. Education. Good.
Comment from mashie
While men may value "love" as their second choice, this doesn't address what it is that makes men "love." It has been suggested that men link sex very closely with love, and that an unsatisfactory sexual relationship may cause them to "fall out of love" very quickly. Women, on the other hand, may be more satisfied in a loving relationship, even if the sex is not "stellar".
Comment from gorgusguy
This survey shows as false....The survey inadvertently tested men on only an intellectual level. on a feelings level or maybe even instinctual level... health is up there high, sex is no lower than third and may be as high as 1, respect is on an instinctual level as well but most of the other levels would not even show up except for maybe love
Comment from valia
Really? Love without sex? I do not think so! Men think about sex 2 minutes after being on first date. I haven't experienced anything else.
Comment from amoremia11
I'm always afraid of men always asking you're age and wanting to have sex. I'm not at all in having sex with a man unless things happen in a natural way. I want to be a good friend and get to know him before that ever happens. is that bad to think this way.?? I would like to be respected and treated as a lady. I think this article has truly open my eyes a little more. thank you for letting me know certain things about men. I think it does not matter how old you are you learn something new each day.
Comment from mayday55
How do men define "love" … as a verb or a noun? I would bet that men and women have a different definition of what they mean by "love."
Its funny that if you put some marriages and relationships under the microscope, how the values are played out could reveal much more as to what is behind the simple ideas on the list. For example, what may bring a feeling of "love and peace of mind" to a man could be having a woman who is a total controlling bitch. That way he doesn't have to think about much. He just does what she says. That may make him feel comfortable and that he is cared about.
Comment from zimbonobo2
I do agree to it totally.
Comment from ANS
How about virginity? lets be honest, would you like a beauty or a virgin beauty that has no sleep with most of the neighborhood... anything else, married in dark color!.... happy trails! ANS
Comment from james.massimino
I believe , after two marriages, that trust comes first , then love , , and healthy is a wish that everyone has. Jealousy , can turn any kind of relationship into chaos. You must be true friends , and lovers at the same time. Marriage is a lifetime commitment , and should be carefully examined before commitment. Today people take it to lightly , and have to learn the hard way as i did. I always say life is like a long lesson!
Comment from abc
What is wrong with people in this country ,how can religion be 2nd to last. No wonder everyone thinks this country is evil.
Comment from bitahunni
Then why do so many men act like they just want to get laid?
Must be the guys are lying......they don't practice what they preach!
Comment from goodwin
Not true!!! I don't know where these men were found, possibly on Mars!!!
Comment from stan mashek
Thanks for your article I agree with you 100%. Sex in a relationship is important but not everything. Without love sex is just a act of play with little feelings. To share the same goals and be happy and have a faithful partner is great.
Comment from levycn
interesting finding. Just wondering how Playboy conduct the survey, how big the sampling size is and how many people responded.
Comment from Dori
I think the ranking order is correct men need and want to be in good health, therefore having love in their lives gives them peace of mind, most value family and work is something we all do to survive. in this he gets respect and for the most part are very well educated, or have hands on in their career...... Sex is a one way street ..... making love is the ultimate between two who value their lives together. it is sacred and very beautiful ... believe it or not girls men are sensitive and have wants and dreams just like we do.....I think the key word to any relationship is communication.
Comment from latwee
I'm truly amazed!
Comment from SlowLovin
I think the values of men, more than women, change to more realistic, socially accepted values as one ages. Sex is high on the list of younger men, I'm sure, yet for men with life experiences, pains and responsibilities the values that promote serenity become paramount for a peace of mind. Todd
Comment from realistic person
Men are liars, at least 89% of them!. The number one for them will always be sex otherwise we won't have so much pregnant youngsters, unwanted children, rapes and many other bad things. Don't fool yourself. Number 2 for them will always be money, next it would be health, friends and all the rest.
Comment from Armenian_Angel
I really am surprised by the results. because in my opinion most of males would place 'sex' under number one. nevertheless, I am only glad to know the truth about them. thank you
I have been around couple of times all my years the men I normally meet value sex more also relationship food and sports and their friends.
Comment from Johncobra706
As Scarface said, "First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women." What woman wants a cheap, lazy, un-educated guy with no potential? I'll take health, money, sex, peace of mind, work/career and education in that order. Respect you have to earn but I really don't care about anyone else either and religion is the opium of the people.
Comment from jide emmanuel o
Hi Nancy, what you just analyzed here is not applicable to an average African man, in Nigeria for example, love of money should come first when you are arranging things in other of importance to an average man, because if you are not loaded here hardly will you get your ideal woman. the bottom line of everything is poverty, poverty is good in poems and sermons but it is bad in practical live, due to these, our women have thrown away their morals at the alter of materialism. thank you and God bless you.
Comment from Canndo2000
I would partially agree with the Playboy results but in my opinion and everyone has one, the number one answer "health" is partially correct but a big part of that answer is "for the sake of sex" that they want to stay healthy even though that is not mentioned. No man wants to lose his sex drive and when he starts aging and having to take medicines that surely takes away that drive or so my doctor has informed me. So, if my opinion is true, sex enters the survey twice ! The only great thing about having birthdays is that it's better than the alternative at a certain age but we can't celebrate the way we would like. I'm sure there are a lot of men that will agree with me.
Comment from skperool
I believed men due value respect more than 58%
Comment from yammy01
hey its a great article even I get to know today that 85% men value love and today where every girl thinks that men is a sex lover they are 49% less than a half but I don't agree with the money part 39% NO I don't agree
Comment from A click away
I agree completely with surveys' topics ranking... Even though I'm not American but French. I believe that women should acknowledge such results, affording them to learn that men do not only behave according to their male appendix :) Unless they are sex addicts, sexually obsessed, or compulsive... Moreover, women very often state that men do not know how to provide their partners with love attitudes (feelings and behavior). I consider that relationship's quality and nurturing feelings stand first above all topics in a couple's life. Famous romantic French-Belgian singer, Jacques Brel, stated once that according to his experiences, "women are not within love but off-side of love". When he was questioned about his vision... To be meditated with no controversy purpose... Faithfully yours.
Comment from sunie
this all what I give too my lover , for that I love this article I need for of it .
Comment from chinita
I think love must be the most value thing in a relationship, but of course health is important too. I am agree with this survey because I've known a lot of men that are even more sensitive than I do. Maybe is a problem of communication, so I hardly think that we have to speak a lot with our partners in order to understand ourselves and get along with them. In my case for example I am very happy with my man because we are good friends too. We love each other a lot. A lot of women in my life (Not all) have a very narrow minded in their views of men. They are the same ones who have poor self esteem. This poor self esteem is causing them to think negative and think of the worst in men. Because of this men are avoiding and not interacting with them. I been accused of things I did not do and have been degraded in public because of it as a result. My aunts (mother sibling) and mother are those who think they always right. (Bad things have happened to them in the past and they have vented their anger and abuse to the innocent. They eventually gain revenge and continue to do so). They feed on each other negative views and act out in verbal abuse in any situation. My only crime is that I'm a man. This was happening since I was very young. My mother and aunts always seem to create a depressing atmosphere, my mother the worst. When ever I need money for school or in trouble my parents acted out against me verbally. They couldn’t too harshly with physically abuse because it would hit their false self image they put on when other people are around. It has defined my relationship with my mother, father and aunts. I had to pretend to love them even though I hated them, in recent years I didn’t care. It came to ahead recently when some of my sisters have taken up the same attitude too. They pick up men who looks are abusive and easily spotted by most people. Normal men avoid them and I don’t blame them. 1 of my sister is a user and abuser when she doesn’t need you any more. She is bulling my younger brother and at Christmas Day, She was so abusive it was worst than his bully at school (who have been pull up over it and my sister agreed it was bulling). She did it to him and the whole family saw it and took no notice of it. I went ape shit. We had a row over it and my mother intervenes and started bulling me, I couldn’t take anymore so I kick them out of my life. It sounds extreme but I have to have my life too. The ironic thing is that my grandmother is the total opposite. My Grandmother had 8 children (5 daughters and 3 sons) and lost her husband and one daughter due to TB in the late 50’s. My grandmother treats everyone the same and a living saint in my view. She is very kind, trusting and very considerate. She always listens, hugs, understanding and had great time for all of her grandchildren. She gains a great respect among her grandchildren (all 32 of them) who have great time for her. It is amazing that all of her sons love her greatly, and they have given plenty of their time for her. My Aunts and mother ignore her advise and think she’s old fashion in her views, but all she asks them to listen, have respect and explain that everyone have faults and that their actions would be far worst in revenge who be far worst than what was done to them. My Grandmother warns my Aunts of their actions would lead them. It started with one husband (who was out of line in my view) and the rest treated their husbands if they were guilty with the same crime with showed huge disrespect and serious put their marriage in trouble. The affect snowed balled. It how I became a victim. On family occasions, my grandmother prefers to be with her grandchildren than her own daughters, who are very controlling, except one (the youngest one, who I care a great deal about (who doesn’t agree with my aunts views) and great to be with, she is very much like my grandmother. She listen, give the necessary hugs, and that smile of understanding when thing go wrong or when they something I need to get off my chest but can’t due to repercussion from my mother. When my uncle died from cancer, it hit my grandmother hard, My Aunts tried to minimize it and showed poor respect to her. But the rest of us rallied around her and with the uncle family. To grieve properly and was there when she need us. I look around for various types of young women today. I still find it hard to find a considerate, kind, loving woman. I find it hard to trust people due to my past experiences, I see a destructive pattern in their behavior, comments that are said (views) to those that resemble those who abuse me in the past and keep them at a distance. If it wasn’t for my grandmother and considerate aunt and some girls I knew since in primary school ( who I have lost touch with), I would have been one of those men who wouldn’t respect women (well decent women!! , I usually avoid the rest). So when I see love, peace of mind, family life, respect all above sex in the survey, I’m not surprise. My life experiences, It’s has define the type of women I look for. It has taken me a long time to trust again. But now since I have gotten the destructive elements out of my life, I have plenty of love to give for I have now found my self again.
Comment from sexy_hott
This is interesting. But at the same time it is pleasing to see where the men place their commitments!!!
Comment from Lizzy-baby-2003
That's a shocker!!!
Comment from amy_watson2
a lot of men tell me they view sex more then love and commitment
Comment from jossy09
I share in the opinion for me love, health and compatibility, with god at the for front are my treasures for an enduring and purposeful relationship. Sex stand lest on my agenda.
Comment from CelebrationDay1
While some may generalize the behavior of one or both genders in traditional stereotypical roles, my "self-centric" view of people my age and younger has changed to the belief that many are displaying more individuality in their ways of thought and behavior. IN GENERAL, this is a bit refreshing to me....please keep in mind that my "self-centric" view is only what I observe-limited, of course. However, I recall credible sources over the past decade reporting general trends that gender stereotypes are far less rigid in a "traditional" way than 15 years ago. The Men being "sworn to fun, loyal to none" has become so ... "last century." I believe wisdom and fear will keep me from speculating on the mindset of societies women; how could I comment on a school of thought that I am not a party to? Once more...I believe that "school of thought" mentality has shifted under the influence(s) of the "factors of socialization" and, yes...conditioning that occurs over time. If this brief discourse I can only bring attention to what SEEMS to be in our present and future from the above survey and my own study and observation. Then again...who am I? << a disclaimer. Thanks...CD1
Comment from Chidinma
I have always believed that 90% of men will always want to sleep with a woman and dumb her after they will find the person they think is good for marriage. I hope they change as the case may be here
The article gives a correct view of what men likes. For as a person , I value relationship in terms of mutual intellectual interaction and opinion sharing. I value sex and I feel happy sitting on the couch to manipulate the fresh organs. I value education and spiritual meditation.
Comment from okeyrancaster
I saw this very wonderful, I love the article, whoever wrote this is perfect. cheers.
Comment from jim777
Interesting though it is recent it will probably take years for women to believe the results most belief systems are based on very early interactions even for those who are willing-changing beliefs is difficult and takes a lifetime commitment.
Comment from faisal
it is good and informative. I appreciate your approach. keep it up.
Comment from bambie19642005
As to my comments about what do men really value? In my past experience's with men and I know that I have chosen the wrong guys, at times. I There are those men out there that are only thinking of themselves and not the woman's feelings. I know there are men out there that do treat a woman right but where in the heck are they? It would be nice for a change to be pampered once In a while. It seems like all of the good ones are either taken or gay. Is there a guy out there that will accept me for just me?
Comment from pkearan
There is a difference between what a man says he values most going into a relationship and what he values in reality once he gets involved. I am a man and believe me, if a woman is not somewhat aggressive in love-making and thereby demonstrates that she really desires her man, the relationship is dead in the water. Who wants to make love to someone who is not an active participant in the event? My ex was a really good woman an many ways and I loved her genuinely, but she didn't want to ever take the lead in bed. After 30 years, I had had enough. No amount of conversation changed anything. She simply refused to initiate sexual play. The rest is history.
Comment from kalesis
Personally I think the sex part is to low and they didn't want to admit it mostly. The other thing is that you can't really have work and carrier at number 5 and the money last, that just doesn't make since. Next respect I think is to low as it coincides with friends I agree. Respect is a form of honesty and you have to trust them more than there friends whether they like it or not. Then religion should really be last, I think because if its not a common interest especially the big issues with religion sometimes they automatically assume its not gonna work so therefore there is no love. Us men try to stay away from things that are most complicated with females, more complications more distance. Then again if they really want to be together and in love religion doesn't matter.
Comment from hopehope
There is most likely truth in it! Men can even arrive at 30 years old, being virgin. you see it's time to stop misjudging them.
Comment from dedog
I think so far that the survey is kind of correct. But sex could have come a long way other than its place.
Comment from skinneydipper
Men do value relationships but every time they find a hottie they have this wonderful sex fling that goes with the thoughts of love and then they start thinking the woman will leave or something. Maybe they think she runs around even though she is all about them but they aren't committing because they are afraid she will leave and then the man thinks about leaving because everything she does seems like she is too good to be true and she "must" be running around or something. Both of my last two loves accused me of running around when I am totally monogamous to them but they apparently think otherwise because I have energy and fun no matter what--but I wasn't running around and was not seeing or sleeping with or thinking about anyone but them...so go figure--Men are very sensitive beasts and their sexuality sure keeps them in stress as well as a women strong enough to dare to take a risk!
Comment from BB
Interesting, but I would like to know how many of the men were married, how many had children, how many were in a sexual relationship, how old were they, etc. I think that would give a better idea of what men want at different stages of their life.
Comment from kit
Surprised me .. yes .. as I feel that men are after one thing .. putting another notch on their belt .. they don't take the time to know the person just "bed" them !! thank you.
Comment from ocgirlca
This was an interesting article. Who knew that men would rank love as #2!
Comment from vikas
I think the survey says right in long term relationship the thing matter most is health of the partner .& the extant of love he/she can give you rather than sex. because being in love with someone doesn't means only for sex. its 4 satisfaction, & peace, to share your feeling with someone who can understand you. although sex is a part of love its one of the ways of expressing love enjoy love.
Comment from MaryanneGinger
Love of their dog? Love by or from a woman but not to her in return? Love of their mother, sisters and adoring fans? Love of their tractor mower? What does this response have to do with a man's desire for a meaningful relationship you morons? Or are you clever and assuming us women are the morons?
Comment from rachel_gayve
yes I believe that this study could be correct... coz man always associated love with sex... they would always say love is above all others to get their way with women....
Comment from senti
Well its not surprising at all. in fact they are made like that. health is a primary concern 'cause without good health one can't enjoy anything not even love so this is indispensable otherwise you can read love at first number 'cause love is the essence of life not of only men but almost all creature. men value it most 'cause they have heart and mind everything else follows.
Comment from tomi
Are you sure of this? As a man I value sex more than money.
Comment from RA18635399
Happiness should be number 1.
Comment from paula_001
I guess they thought they were going to find love in the pages of playboy. LOL
Comment from amos_16 b
The article had been of much help to me and I commend you to keep it up. Thanks a lot .
Comment from victor
Right on!!!
Comment from lilbitecookie
I believe that this article is a lie and that men priorities are money, sex, friends, respect, health, than peace of mind.
Comment from FirbodI
Hi there! Maybe by "Love", men meant "Maling Love!" ;-) Of course this is a joke. I myself value love on top of my list.
Yes, I feel that religion should be higher, cause your faith is suppose to be the forefront of our life. Put God first, and everything else will work out just fine. But everything you listed is good. All these items are so important that women don not have a clue. We have feelings also. We want to find that right woman who carry the same or similar. Sex is a little more in stats than you think. Ask more African males also. Try doing a poll with just ordinary Labor hard working men. See what the stats are. Thank you
Comment from bazza
Well we were not so surprised as one of a men's group with next to 1 million members, as when do a study every 3 years if our members, the findings are close to yours, except for dads who have been through a divorce that left them devastated, some hate females so much they will not even talk to any. We have one member that went to jail rather than talk to a female cop. 3 months and still did not talk to her, they gave him a male cop and gave a full statement, but after jail he is now a homosexual, as a lot of ex. dads do here in western Australia. We think the big question is [what is love in the 21st.centry???] Most murders and suicides in Aust. are from broken marriages where it was very ugly, health was foremost in all our studies. We have had 32 suicides in our group this half year. we found in a questionnaire. Has marriage had its day as we know it? 87% said yes 5 yrs. will see it out. All bastard kids from then on. keep up the good work.
Comment from parag
I think the article given above is really very shocking because some things which has to be ranked up are below in the preference such as religion, sex, work career etc. thanks for letting me know about this research.
Comment from CLAUDIA
Not accepted by me . I still maintain that non-religious men still value your number 9 more than anything else.
Comment from nukem777
money has always been about at the bottom of my list, but I thought I was weird about that. It is refreshing to see I'm in the majority of opinions about the importance of money. Cool.
What about the intangible - Chemistry??
Comment from gichangi
I am surprised! I thought man and sex is one and same thing!
Comment from rajlinckon
I would like to say that "Love" may comes in First. bcaz, A man even in sick can be relaxed by another one's love. Love makes his health better. thank you.
Comment from simplyred03
I think (love) should be #1 on the list...and (honesty) then (loyalty)also (communication) that's very important...and so is (trust) also to be very (dedicated) to each other as well... etc...
Comment from gbemisola
I really like your suggestion ,pls I would like you to tell me more on how to handle a serious relationship for 3 month with sharing love with my partner. and can I know a serious guy that really cares about me a lot. I will be very grateful if you give me a correct answer to this question. thanks.
Comment from boobi
you seeeeeeeeee? love is all that matters.
Comment from angelseven
Men's outer appearance doesn't convey what they really want or need from the women they date. It remains their secret.
Comment from soserious
I think it really depends on the man that your dealing with, men from different ethnical backgrounds desire different things. So before placing a broad statement like that on your web site you may need to survey different race groups
Comment from ButtrFly
Yeah well.. In my own Survey since New Years Day, I have only found ONE man who wanted to "Commit" to me and he later BROKE it Off Two Days Later and my Heart was Severely Broken and Damaged
Comment from k2suzi
well I used to think that most of the men they think from their dick n all they want is sex. seeing the list and the results it did surprise me but hey not only guys think sex is the most important thing even women does.
Bull they always end up wanting sex and 2 deprive you any way possible men are a total load of B.S.
Comment from Ol_Man
It would be nice to see women's 11 values along side.
Comment from luciarosie
I don't believe the results because it's not an objective test. First of all, people who choose to fill out surveys represent a particular "type" who will tend to respond in certain ways, and secondly, those same people often fill out the answers they think puts them in the best light.
Comment from magycfynger
I think its true forum your investigation. I personally value my health more than anything and I also want to love to be loved too. the only thin I disagree with is the fact that money comes last. the reason why they work and struggle so hard is to make money so they can take care of the family. Maybe not the first think that it should come third. no man will have peace of mind without money. no family without money. No education without money. pls do your findings more. You guys are doing a great job. Thanks 4 educating me, God bless you...
Comment from argie
That's crap. I respect guys and education among other things what are guys thinking about saying this.
Comment from ladylovekitten
Yes, well we know how men lie too!
Comment from bhaskar
I value as she is&I don't expect this is how she should be to suit me you have to agree to me situations are different and we should adopt or rise to that occasions. setting our minds and getting frustrated its better to understand and to learn to live as it comes.
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