What am I?

Dear Brian,
I'm a 24 year old woman who is confused because while still in a relationship with a man, there was one woman who took all my sexual drive away from him. I kept dreaming about her and I tried to get her out of my mind, even when I was with him. This definitely made me question my sexuality. This was the only woman I was attracted to. So what does that make me? What am I?
- Confused


Dear Confused,
You certainly have bi-sexual inclinations, but I'm not sure if a specific label to designate your sexual orientation (gay, bi) is necessary. When you come right down to it, most of us don't fall in love with, or find ourselves attracted to, a gender. We are attracted to a particular person. Certainly, for those of us who are gay, the particular person is always of the same gender, and for those who are straight, the particular person is always a member of the opposite sex. But society applies the labels, then tries to enforce a strict conformity to what the majority had decided is the norm. Of course, those of us in the minority use labels, as well, out of our need to assert our right to love who we wish. But I would suggest you try to forget about the labels. It's possible this woman is the only woman you'll ever find yourself attracted to, but so what? She turns you on. If you're satisfied with dreaming about her, fine, but if the attraction is as strong as you imply, I would pursue her. Closets are for clothes, not people. The same is true of labels. Follow your desires.

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