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Role Reversal... Could I scare her away?
Comment from lovegirl
Gary, if it is meant to be, it will be. Just take it easy keep working on yourself and the future. Before, you know everything will fall in place.
Comment from smileye
If she really cared, she'd make time for you. I get so tired of waiting. I just find other things to do or other people to meet. There is this other guy that I like, but he's always making excuses as to why we can't get together. I'm trying to move on.
Comment from Barry
I would say that less is more. If keeps busy she is going to wonder why he is always having fun or always something to do when she is not around. If Gary is always available she will think she has him on a string and will continue with the status quo...
Comment from SudzyGirl
Since that girl sounds a lot like me (with work and school I hit the ground running most days and only stop when I drop), you need to ask nicely but directly, what her needs are for contact. Everyone is different in that respect. Some of us are okay seeing our romantic interest once a week, some people need more contact. Figure out what hers is, balance it against yours, and then find a happy compromise. Oh, and it never hurts to occasionally, show up with lunch or dinner when she's in between classes and work, or even just show up with a flower to say "Hi, I missed you, and I was thinking about you." Big warning, though, say this too often, and it may make her think that you're a stalker.
Comment from raquel
I have had many times in my life that I have been 'too busy'. I feel if you really care about someone you will make some time no matter how little. After all it is this persons company who made me feel good to begin with and cheer a person up while working so hard. I just recently met someone who has to start over in life with creating a new business and have been told he will be too busy right now to be seeing or talking to anyone; and for some time. I have no intentions of sitting and waiting for someone who is 'always too busy' for even a 5 minute chat. he really is doing what he said he is going to do I feel that you need to set a limit on how long this will go on as far as when you can see her. If it is months I would say bye bye. I am sure she is a very nice person but you just met and you need a life too.
Comment from NumberOne
Hi Gary buddy I read your concerns and I thought I'd help you see what's going on here because I want men like you to know the real truth of what goes on with women in situations like this. Alright, first of all I want you from now on to take facts for facts. Here's one fact you know: she's a busy woman. She works and is going to be attending classes. Bingo there's a sign for you!!! What is it you say? Fact - she feels working and taking classes are what's going to benefit her life, she does not have to be there, it's a choice she has made. So for you Gary remember this one thing - attraction is not a choice, you can't try to buy her affection, worry about her, call her up all the time or try to really change things. If you act your normal self, have fun with her, not worry what she's doing, she will naturally come to you. Why? because she's thinking of you and she will act accordingly.. Don't try to get her to act in ways you want because you want her to like you because she wants to. You want her to be around you because she wants too. You may say well she's doing all this I'm going to lose her if I let her do her own thing, but look bro, shes doin this because she wants to. It's not a mistake bro. She knows what she's doing and you're turning into a wimp by trying to change things . If you have fun with her and dont pressure her bother her much etc etc if she's truly attracted to you she will give you what you want when she feels the time is right. Remember women are very smart and if she's attracted to you she won't be able to stop it. Women do the craziest things for me because they cant stop feeling attraction for me, its there, they cant help it and until you experience a women who can only see being with you and no one else, you may not realize what its like to have a women really like you. It's almost scary. LOL.
Comment from alfredox
Well I have never been in this try of situation but my advise for Gary : 1. he should help with some of her busy work by being there for her at the end of the day, and also ask her what her plans are for the future get to know her better what she like and do not like Comment from Elle Well, tell you something, sometimes I do it myself, try to act busy to HIM. the truth is, ( :), well dont hate me, ) either I'm mad at him for some reason, or I just feel a little bored, because I feel we are, mmmmm, limited, you know things are kinda predicted. at the same time, Brenda's right too, if she's real BUSY, then it'd be SOOOO SWEEEET of you to just call her for a minute or so, to check on her, I betcha she's going to finish what she's doing as soon as she can just to go back to you ;) don't let her feel you resent her work or this situation you are into. Instead giving her some encouraging and loving words is like a rub on the shoulders. :) and it'll do you a big favor later;) best of luck, for you and for me:)
Comment from Kat
He should only be himself....just do and say what he feels from the heart...If she feels the same she will try to see him as much as she can too....If it doesn't work out then its not meant to be....But my top advice is to say what's on your mind and in your heart and act yourself ....Explain yourself....Its when you dont say or do things you would normally do because it might bug her....that gets you into trouble.
Comment from mikept123
How about if she is seeing two guys or three guys at same period time, and she's just saying she is busy with her work and she is still clicking online dating, should I stay or say "bye bye" to her?
Comment from Lionhart27
I'm in that same situation. I have met a girl who enjoys to spend time with me, but also has friends (girls) that require a lot of her time. I often find myself yearning to spend more time with her, but understand that she needs her own space. Diligently, I have been pursuing her for the past 6 months and although we are exclusive now, she is still consistent with her friends. So, what I have done is this; I call my buddies up and go out to eat or go to a club, and though I see other women, my mind is constantly on her. However, being with my friends it helps to occupy my time and ease the sense of missing her. I let her know that I enjoy the time we spend with each other. I call her everyday at least to touch base, and in time, I can only hope that the relationship will mature into something extraordinary for the both of us. The same principle I have come to realize is the same situation for her. She feels the same way and yearns for the same things. Communication is the ultimate key. Good Luck! Comment from rainbow936 I'd say that he needs to think about this: She won't be so busy forever and the end result (which seems to be very promising) will make it all worth while. To find the love of your life is a wonderful thing. Don't screw it up by trying to rush things.
Comment from FireEagle17
It's time to back off. Have you ever had a women come on to strong. Most likely your natural instinct is to pull away. Always remember the strongest desires are for what you can't have. So it's now time to have a good time with someone else. Even if there is no one else. Its time for you to say I can't make it I have this trip planned. Later you need to tell her what a wonderful time you had with out her. If she wants to do something with you, you need to tell her you are doing something with someone else that time. If she is into you this should result in her renewing her interest. If not, well she just was not that interested in you.
Comment from dulu07
Dear Gary, please note:women characters are not so easy, You have to handle her very slowly. You can't force her. If you force her there is a possibility of losing her. As you know very well that she cares you, so take time. Maybe today there is no result but in the long run you will get results. First play the role of fox and then play the role of lion.
Comment from Alpha_Wolf
Hello, Gary, I would like to take a moment and tell You this, "Good things come to those who wait!" What I would do in Your situation, (And what I have done in this exact same scenario.) Is to accept what there is in the relationship right now. Education is a very important part of life, and finding a well paying source of employment! Not to mention, that the going to school will not last forever. Since You say the feelings are mutual between you both now, Buy her a very nice necklace and set of matching earrings to show your love for her. These are items that she can wear on a daily basis while she is in school and at work, to remind her of you! The cost is up to you, but I would suggest around $100.00 for these, and make sure they have "real" gemstones in them. (Maybe even her birthstone.) Next, is to wait for the chances that will be there to spend time with her. Take her to dinner when you can, and enjoy the evening as much as possible. Another thing I will tell You is, "Make sure that you communicate with her!" Tell her your feelings and ask about hers. Talk with each other about everything! Lack of communication has ruined more relationships, and marriages, than anything else! Remember to be considerate of her dreams and desires, other than that, just do what comes natural, and enjoy life to the fullest. (My experience in this same scenario ended in 11 years of marriage.) Who knows what Yours will end with! . . . . . . . . . . Be Very Patient and Don't rush the relationship ! ! ! ! ! Good Luck, and best of wishes to you!
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