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Home > Alternative Lifestyles > Article > Readers Respond |
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 READERS RESPOND |
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Bi The Way
I am a married bi guy whose wife doesn’t know about me being with guys now and then. Probably would divorce me if she knew. I know that I am bi because I enjoy sex with my wife and love her. I don’t love the men that I get with. I just enjoy the sex. No love making just sex. What does that make me? - zznvfm
I am shocked at this article. Within this article, the attitude toward bisexuals which causes disapproval from both homosexual and heterosexual sides can clearly be seen. All this does is tell gay men to stay away from bisexual men. Gay men have the same views toward monogamy as bisexual men but feel the need to scapegoat it to bisexuals. A gay man will cheat just as much as a bisexual man. - wakeup
I was married for 29 years and by todays standards would have been considered bisexual. Wrong I was truly gay and just could not admit that to myself. I tried hard to be the faithful husband but it was totally silly because I, in reality, knew the truth. My wife passed away in early 2003 and while I miss the companionship I know I feel better about myself. Truth is Truth. - avrevron
Brian, first, thanks for addressing this issue. Next, there is yet another wrinkle that should be considered. Some men can have a rich, satisfying, even amazing monogamous heterosexual relationship lasting decades. After the death of a woman, or some other end of the relationship, they are only attracted to and comfortable with other men. These few poor guys are not easily accepted in the gay community. Other bisexuals don't consider them bisexuals, either. It's a tough lot. Some people really need freedom from 'labels' and rigid expectations. And finally, my personal opinion: Cheating is cheating. Sex is Sex. (No matter what a former President told Congress.) The gender of your new partner and the degree of penetration don't matter. If you promise, stay faithful to your promise or you really cheat yourself. - YorktownChubby
You are a sweetheart and hit my feelings and thoughts right on the nose or other parts of the anatomy, if you wish---just joking. Seriously, thank you for the validation!!! - Nick
Utter bulls**t. A typical reaction from someone who has only one sexual attraction. As moronic as the worst homophobe.
"For the bisexual, the ideal relationship is probably with another bisexual. Gay men should stick to gay men, and straight women should stick to straight men." I think this was obviously written by someone who has no understanding of bisexual men and once again decides to make sweeping generalizations about the many from the few. I am a bisexual man currently in a relationship with a guy. My past relationship was with a female. When I am in a relationship with a person it is the person I having the relationship with not there gender or what they can offer me sexually. It seems that you think all men are in for the type of sex they can get, but a relationship is much more than that. If you can be satisfied by either gender sexually and emotionally then there is no reason why you can not have a same sex or opposite sex relationship. Bisexuals are the least understood sexuality - and gays think they have it hard! Bisexuals have the challenge of being shunned by the gay world (because they might dump them for a women or they are not man enough to 'come out' etc) and the straight world (cause they are 'in the closet', or disease carriers etc). I think you have given terribly destructive advice to gay men out there with this little article of yours. Relationships are about people, not the sex you have with them! - Rapid
"Fact is, being heterosexual is easier than being gay, and if a bi-guy has to choose, he'll likely opt for the straight and narrow path where he can bask in the approval of straight society." Allow me to address this quote. I am a bisexual and I find this comment narrow minded. First off, sexuality is not something that you can control. As a homosexual you should be well aware of this. The reason I opened the door of homosexuality was simply because I fell in love with a man. It was not something that I had planed nor expected. Luckily we both took this to the next level. So after him I branded myself "Gay", and was happy with that. Years later I met a Girl with whom I became friends with. It turned out that she liked me. I explained to her that I was "gay" and that we could not be anymore than friends. Seconds after I had said that, I remembered the boy that I fell in love with, and how because of my open-mindedness I had a long wonderful relationship. Then I remembered that love is not something that I could not control, that it is often found in the most unlikely of places. I knew then to label myself cut my chances to fall in love and live happily ever after in half. The point is when I opened my mind to the possibility of loving someone of the same sex did not mean that I need to rule out the possibility of loving the opposite sex. For me it will make the love that I share with someone, same sex or not worth more because I will know I have left no stone unturned. It is appalling to me that homosexuals, who want to be accepted, are often bigots. If you want to be accepted for your beliefs, then you must also be willing to accept others for theirs. Sorry if I sound harsh but being a bisexual I hear that it is a cop out constantly. Just as you are attracted to men I am luckily attracted to both men and women. - atrau
I believe the idea of sharing is not something that I look forward to in a relationship. If there is an understanding from the beginning that exclusivity is the foundation for the relationship there shouldn't be a problem whether the other person is bi-sexual or not. This is why we should not be so concerned about whether or not the other person is looking at a woman, but if the other person is committed to me. We all take a risk in any relationship when we decide to open our hearts. I would encourage my gay brothers and sisters to beware from the beginning if there is a chance for that door to open run and go the other direction. If you don't care one way or the other, you might want to reconsider your own principals and what they are. I don't believe in sharing one way or another. I once allowed an ex to broach the subject with me and to tell you the truth it took every ounce of self respect to walk away from the relationship. OK. he dumped me, but that's not the point. The point is there are so many of us out there why go through the drama when it's so unnecessary. That's why dating services bring so much of an opportunity to find someone with the same beliefs and character as ones self. So, before you sign on the dotted line think long and hard, is it worth it because he’s a fox, or do I just have to have someone in my life in spite of the mental torture of wondering do I have to compete with a woman...I think not. So take heart y'all, there are many fish in the sea. Did I just say that? I sure did. Not only is the article a true reflection of what we all face at least once in our happy lives, but the conclusions is very much on the money. The only thing that scares me is when one says we should stick with our own it in some way reminds me of racism. I think your choice of words needs to be addressed but other than that the article has a lot of merit. This has to be an individual choice and it really doesn't matter what I may think, if it works for anyone else it's totally their choice. As long as you go in with eyes wide open and are being honest with yourself. Is he or she really worth it? If the answer is yes be ready for the fall out and have lots of hankies it's going to be a bumpy road. Take it from someone who knows. Thanks - bones01
The last sentence really grabbed me! Actually the info given here, I guess is a help with most men, struggling with the same questions everyday! Thanx to Brian for the info! - jc2405
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