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Addicted to Lust
Interesting, because I was addicted to alcohol and now wonder about sex addiction. Now I am isolated w/o any good outlet for my addiction as I do not drink to loosen up, have ED and am depressed. This brings me full circle and worse than ever. Sometimes it seems to me that using alcohol again might be, if not the best solution, the fasted to real human contact with another. I have defined myself as a Bi/TV which should, in theory, help me find sex, but the solitude and unwillingness hurts still. - George
I just read your article on lust addiction, Brian, and I took the test. Seems I fall at 64.3... not hopelessly addicted, I guess. But then, a few of the questions just did not really address my particular situation, which is to be expected of such generic standardized testing. My situation, as I've come to realize, is rooted in my lack of parental affection, so I was a little surprised that such a question was not on the survey. Also, as I have been living outside our country and culture for the past twelve years, some of those experiences may be coloring my situation. I guess the biggest situation I would like to ask you about is this: I have always felt like an outsider in both the straight and gay worlds. I am not modelicious, but neither am I bad looking, and as a matter of fact women in the countries I have lived have found me very attractive. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about the men (except in Barcelona!). I do not understand what it is about me that seems to repel guys. I am not effeminate; I don't like being "catty" or "bitchy" or all that theatrical stuff you see and hear a lot of in the bars (and now on TV). What you get is just an ordinary guy who likes men; could it be the curse of ordinariness? I've been told that I have a very "on" energy...as a Sagittarian Rat-Year guy, this may be very true, though I don't consciously turn this on myself. I simply enjoy living life to the fullest and tend to be totally honest about my feelings and opinions. Maybe I'm also just too independent? The thing about sex with me is that I get a whole lot more fulfillment out of giving pleasure than receiving it; which might be why getting off on cyber photos and one-time flings are my typical experiences of late -- I can totally let go and freely plunge into the cerebral, where I get the maximum pleasure with less disappointment and depression. Don't get me wrong, I would love to find a guy to fall asleep with and then wake up wrapped together to in the mornings, as the yearning for the caressing and kissing burns under my skin. The thrill of the hunt, though, is a potent drive with me, I will admit. Maybe what I need is a man who is a non-lethal schizophrenic...then each time would be like being with a different person?! Actually, Brian, I know who I would like to spend the rest of my days with: Michael T. Weiss (JEFFERY): as he was in his series, "The Pretender", I think the chemistry might be in just the right balance for us. But then, that is just another fantasy that will have to remain in the dream realm of this very hopeful romantic. - Huumanjin
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