|
|
 |
|
|
Home > Dating Advice > Ask Brian > Question/Answer > Readers Respond |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 READERS RESPOND |
| |
|
|
Is My New Boyfriend Drifting Away?
Comment from Susan
Don't sell yourself short. Everyone deserves a person who cares about them equally. If you feel it's not right, then its not. Support your own feelings and demand your partner support them too.
It might take a while, it might hurt a bit but you will find the person for you. It took me 31 years but it was worth every day of waiting, everynight of feeling lonely and every day I almost couldn't make it through. It will happen when you least expect it.
Comment from bkahl
Just leave him! If the love is there then he must have put you as a priority in a way of stealing some time out of his busy times just saying hello or so. THe love between two people will naturally increase the eagerness to communicate by seeing them or just talk on the phone no matter how tight you are with your schedule. The technology has enabled us to communicate in faster and better way. So if he did not talk to you until 2 days that means he is not in love with you. That simple. Do not buy time just because you are also buying your feeling to him.
Comment from chocolateeyes
I agree with Brian (it's also my name - lol). I went through the same thing and I decided to ask him if he wanted to further our relationship, and he said he wanted to just to play the field (after he told me he loved me, as I thought he did), and I told him that it was time for him to show himself to the door. That was nearly 10 years ago. It did hurt for a while, but time heals. You gotta take things real slow and take it day by day and see where it goes. If you noticed that it isn't going anywhere after being with him for a while, best for you both to be friends and you move on with your life and another man will be waiting for you. :)
Comment from kimylove
Don't leave him, maybe his work is taking a toll on him, with him being tired and stuff and not getting any off days, he must be really tired.maybe he doesn't want to meet you or even call you when he is that moody, he might be afraid of how you may react when you see him in that situation. Go ask him how he feels about you and if he says he loves you give him the biggest kiss ever. This should be the best time you have to show him how really worth you are to him, give him a massage, make him a nice meal and visit him after work,that's how love grows, not waiting for the other side to show you how much they love you, not everyone is perfect.just tell him how you feel and you'll be surprised later at how things work out. best of luck.
Comment from pumcia5
That's funny cause I have exactly the same situation. My boyfriend works as a bartender, so he has little time if any for me. Last Monday we had a little quarrel because of the fact he didn't phone or even write sms for one day, although he had a day off and he could meet with me. I told him to think it all over and decide whether he wants to be with me or not. Of course I didn't get the answer till today..I have no idea what's going on and so I have no idea if I should wait until he phones or should I phone first?
Comment from wickiebear
Communication is the trick. Talk to him about your feelings and concerns. I wish you all the luck in the world.
Comment from Jerry
Aloha Dracos; I hope all is well with you, and I have to say that I agree with Brian 100%, You should sit down with your boyfriend and ask him where you stand in his life! And is he ready for the commitment of having a boyfriend? But remember, what ever his answer is , be it positive or negative, it shouldn't be a poor reflection on you! You seem to know what you want out of a relationship, namely a man who's not afraid of commitment! Stand your ground, you say that you don't want to be hurt. Try not to be sold down that road of ..."Open Relationship" People tend to think that Gay men are incapable of maintaining a committed and monogamous relationship. If your boyfriend is one of those people, then it's time for you to move on. Because where he feels that way, there's a lot of good men out there that doesn't! So whatever the out come...good luck, and remember that you're a good man, and should be treated as such, because there's plenty of "Good fish" in the sea!
Comment from mountainman11
Let him go. If he's wanting to spend less and less time with you after only 3 months, he's not for you. My boyfriend/partner and I have been talking to each other at least 3 to 5 and more times per day since the 3rd week after meeting online. We've also been seeing each other at least one weekend a month since week 6. We've been in a long distance relationship, (due to job restrictions), for 21 months and are about to move in together. A good relationship should keep getting better for both people, not worse for one and ok for the other. When you find the right man, you'll both know it. Good luck.
Comment from drwes40
Dracos, I've been where you are now. I fell madly in love with the guy and he hurt me bad. He said the same thing your b/f told you that he would never hurt me. He did. Just be careful and don't get hurt like I did.
Comment from robin03
Why would a man want you to move in with him , want you to sell your car, want you not to work and want you to close your bank account , then tell you that you don't need to see your children, then accuse you of cheating, then proceeds to tell you what to eat and how much and what weight he expects you to be down to by a deadline? Help!
Comment from Ted Rabba
I agree with what Brian said, but would also remind you that a clingy, needy boyfriend is a turn off to a guy. This will drive him even father away if you try to make him feel guilty for not spending time with you. Start living your own life and be busy some time when he wants to be with you. Tell him you have some plans with friends from work, and don't be so available. Then perhaps he won't take you so much for granted.
Comment from chroberts95
I know how you feel, and unfortunately I did get hurt. I believe he's being honest and from reading what you said, and how long you've talked /seen each other, I'd not worry to much. Good luck with your relationship. -Chad
Comment from Frank
Become the dumper before you become the dumpee!! Sounds to me like he's already gone. The man's a spineless pig not to face you.
Comment from Johnny
Yes, I agree to talk it out among both parties because I strongly believe that communication is the key to success towards a healthy relationship specially at such an early stage as this one. But on the other hand I would definitely speak out my feelings and be honest and sincere communicating that you are just trying to get to the bottom of a healthy relationship before is further into development. Put the cards on the table but be gently, honest and understanding. Also be ready to hear the unacceptable of the true outcome. There are many fish in the ocean, if its' revealing answers are well don't have the time or I met someone else than you need to be very tactful without hurting anyone feelings and move on to someone else.
 Back to the question
Back to Advice archive |
|
| |
|
|
|
|
 |
