What you choose to do on a date sets a certain mood. These different moods are what give dating such variety. One of the first steps in date planning is to decide what you are in the mood for, emotionally speaking. If you've had a stressful week, for example, think of what kind of evening will make you feel better. If you need a laugh, your date could be dinner and a show at a comedy club.

Of course, you'll want to consider your partner's mood, too. Instead of asking what your partner would like to do, ask your partner what kind of emotional state he or she is in. Dating is for both partners; if both feel their needs are being considered, the time together will be more enjoyable.

Decide what kind of mood you need for your date and then plan accordingly. The following list describes some moods you may be in. Next to each mood, write some date ideas that meet each mood for you. Have your partner do the same.

Mood of Date/Type of Activity to Meet Mood

* Relaxing?
* Exciting?
* Adventurous?
* Elegant?
* Sexy?
* Intellectual?
* Romantic?
* Other?

When you understand what kind of date will meet your needs and your partner's, figuring out what to do is much easier. If you partner tells you she feels like doing something elegant, you'll know what date ideas will satisfy that need of hers. Remember, dating is meant to be enjoyable so if you have the least bit of hesitation or dread for a date, then you need to consider changing the mood (or your date!).

- by Nancy Fagan, M.S., Featured Guest Writer

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