Let me ask you something…
Have you ever connected and had great chemistry with a man, but when things started to get close he pulled away?
What made the guy act differently or change his mind?
Was it something about him that was wrong?
Well, if you’re like lots of women, then you probably spent all kinds of time and energy trying to figure out what was wrong with him and what his issues were.
But in the back of your mind there was a thought and a fear that bothered you even more…
That there was something wrong with YOU, and that it was something you did or something about who you are that drove him away.
Nod if you know what I’m talking about here.
We’ve all been there.
But if you’ve ever blamed yourself, beat yourself up inside and become painfully frustrated because a man has withdrawn from you, then guess what?
You were probably right on both counts.
There was something going with HIM, which was his fault. (his issues, fears, etc.)
There was probably also something that YOU DID that helped to DRIVE HIM AWAY or that kept him from getting to a deeper level of attraction, intimacy and desire to be with you.
Here’s the good news-
There’s something you can do about both of these situations.
With the first situation I’ll give you the short answer right now, in a couple of easy steps.
If you’re running into a resistant and withdrawing man, there’s one PLAIN and SIMPLE FACT that you MUST remember:
There’s not enough convincing, discussing or pleading in the world that can help a man “get it” and make him open and connected with a woman.
Men just don’t work this way.
So what CAN you do about a man’s issues?
Step 1: Learn to IDENTIFY and SCREEN for “emotionally available” men
Women who can do this usually enjoy much happier and stable love-lives than the “average” woman.
If you can learn to do this, you’ll be able to avoid the painful and frustrating situation of getting physically and emotionally involved with a man who just doesn’t have the emotional capacity to fulfill you in a serious relationship.
If you’ve ever been in this situation, then it’s time to understand that no matter how much of a “good guy” a man might seem, and if his ACTIONS aren’t those of an emotionally “available” guy, then it doesn’t matter what you think might be inside waiting to come out.
And here’s where there’s a serious problem for TONS of women.
They fall into the trap of getting physically and emotionally involved with a man BEFORE learning how truly open and available he is, and will be over time, with his ACTIONS.
So how can you learn to identify these things about a man?
One good way is to ASK HIM.
But wait, isn’t that too easy? And won’t that “scare him off”?
No, this won’t scare him off – IF you do it the right way.
He’s the kind of guy you probably don’t want to be with anyways.
Hint, hint- the kind of guy who sees any kind of deeper emotional discussion or connection as “DRAMA” and doesn’t know how to deal with it.
Or the kind of guy who hasn’t spent two seconds of his time thinking about what he really wants with a woman or what his feelings mean.
Oh yeah… and another good way to learn about emotionally available and unavailable men is to read some more of my newsletters.
And check out my ebook for a whole bunch of my best “inside secrets” on communicating with those pain in the neck “emotionally unavailable” men.
There’s a small psychological and communication “shift” I talk about in my book that can mean the difference between a man getting angry and irritated or getting him to open up and understand when you talk to him.
Step 2: Develop clear STANDARDS for the kind of men you’ll spend your time with, and stick to them
Here’s step two on what to do about a man’s issues.
NOTHING. They’re not your issues.
Let me explain… sometimes it’s simpler than we make it out to be.
If you’re the kind of woman who really wants the kind of man that will NURTURE you and make you feel loved – then you need to know if a man will be this way BEFORE you get too involved.
Because there’s something you should know about men.
They can be very inflexible, and I bet you already knew that. But it’s good to hear it straight from the horses mouth.
So let me tell you… not all men want to, or know how to, be with a woman in an open and loving way.
Translation – you can’t change a man’s lifestyle or his “love-style” just because you want him to change.
Only a man can choose to change himself.
And if you’re going into a situation thinking that you’re going to be the one to tame this wild stallion just because you want it so bad and YOUR FEELINGS are so strong – then you’ve got another thing coming.
Here’s a “psychology secret” I learned about people from a mentor of mine.
Each person’s LONG TERM motivations and desires come from within themselves, and not from what other people want or expect from them.
Now… let’s say you’re the kind of woman who likes a challenge and adventure, and you value the fun of not knowing what comes next.
But you’re spending time with a guy who’s always seeking comfort, certainty, and security in his life to feel good.
Guess what that means?
It’s NOT going to be his fault when you’re bored and unhappy with the emotional experiences you have, or don’t have, with him.
Ok, and here’s the most important part of having standards.
Sticking to them.
TONS of women have a FATAL FLAW when it comes to men and relationships.
They’d rather look at the POTENTIAL that a man has for a relationship rather than at the current
REALITY of the man’s “emotional state”.
Don’t make this DANGEROUS mistake.
You might be sitting there right now saying to yourself,
“But there’s this guy that I like and I think he could be the right one for me… and he’s just acting a little weird right now. He’ll figure it out. And I should HELP HIM by telling him what I know is wrong and work through it with him.”
Acting and communicating with a man this way not only tends to frustrate men, it actually works to TURN THEM OFF and kills the ATTRACTION that they feel for a woman.
Which early on, before there’s a deeper emotional connection and a commitment, is EVERYTHING to a man.
CREATING LASTING ATTRACTION THAT WILL MAKE HIM WANT TO BE IN LOVE WITH YOU FOREVER
After years of study, observation, and living my own love life, I’ve got some inside tips about men to share.
And I know these tips can INSTANTLY create positive changes in your love life.
Let’s start with a few important questions that I want you to ask yourself first to get you to the right place to learn.
Take a minute to think each one of these questions over…
1. Why does a man choose one woman and not another?
2. What’s the FIRST THING a man notices about a woman that makes him feel like he could get SERIOUS with her?
No, it’s not her curvaceous body parts!
Of course, that doesn’t hurt.. wink, wink
Got the answers? Don’t know? Give up?
Well, don’t worry. If you don’t know the answers, I’m about to share the secrets behind these questions with you…
Have you ever noticed that some women seem “cursed” or “unlucky” when it comes to dating and love.
Meanwhile, other women seem to have all the luck, love, connection, attention, suitors, praise and “options” a woman could want.
The second group of women seem to have it easier than the first.
Regardless of where they are and what they’re doing, everything with men just seems to go their way.
Why is that?
Is the world just unfair?
Are some women destined to never find true love in their lives, while others have so many choices that they’re spoiled?
Is it some women’s fate to “re-live” the same painful, frustrating and FAILED RELATIONSHIPS with men over and over…
While other women seem to be the decision- makers with all the “power”, surrounded with men who will do anything for them.
I bet you know what I’m talking about.
You might even know what I’m talking about a little too well.
What’s the deal here?
Let’s break it down by answering the two questions from earlier.
1. Why does a man choose one woman and not another?
Let’s be clear here about what we mean by “choose”.
I’m not talking about a man “hooking up” with a woman as choosing her.
If you still think that physical connection means that a man has “chosen” a woman, then you’ve got to get out of the house more often.
And read more of my newsletters.
What I mean by choose is; why does a man open up to one woman and explore a relationship with her, and not do that with other women that he might have been close to or physical with?
The answer is FASCINATING.
I’ll boil it down to simple terms.
When a man meets a woman and he’s attracted to her, he doesn’t say to himself:
“Gee, she’s got this quality and that quality, and she talks about this and doesn’t talk about that, so I think I’ll feel ATTRACTED to her.”
It never works this way in the real world.
Instead, I’ve learned that ATTRACTION is largely SUBCONSCIOUS.
Especially for men who often experience intense attraction at the first site or encounter with a woman.
It’s like an instant attraction “trip-wire” is sprung.
But most women don’t seem to get this.
Instead, they go about attracting and communicating with a man using LOGIC.
And by using the things that they think would work on them and make them feel closer, more open and more attracted to the man.
Don’t make this mistake.
By the way, it often works differently with women as they want to know more about a man before they can feel open and attracted to him.
So if a man can feel INSTANTLY ATTRACTED to a woman, what makes him feel this way?
What creates the attraction
And what sets one woman apart from another in just a subconscious split-second?
I’ll give you one of my favorites…
Women who create INTENSE ATTRACTION with men often act in ways that are completely UNPREDICTABLE.
Of course, the flip side of this is that if a woman acts PREDICTABLE, odds are that a man isn’t going to feel much ATTRACTION for her.
She’ll seem like all the other women he’s met and bore him.
Let me show you how this works by pointing out an example from your own life.
Do you have any guy friends who are with women that are totally PSYCHO and out of control?
Or maybe a girlfriend who’s with a crazy guy.
I’m talking total BUNNY BOILERS here that yell, scream, make RIDICULOUS demands, throw temper tantrums, get dangerously jealous, etc.
You know the maniacs I’m talking about.
The strangest part about these situations is that the “non-crazy” friend of yours can be the nicest down to Earth person you know. But for some sick reason they’re just ADDICTED to the crazy person in their lives.
What is it about these psychos that keeps the nice sweet person with them?
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking, reading and observing to figure this exact thing out.
A HUGE part of what attracts people, even in light of “crazy” behavior, is UNPREDICTABILITY.
Having no idea what will happen next, the contrast of the ups and downs, the good with the bad.
It doesn’t make “sense”, but in reality, these things are unbelievably exciting and attractive to a man.
In fact, they’re so ATTRACTIVE that men are often willing to forego or look past all kinds of things they’d normally run from just to stay around and experience more of the mystery, intrigue and attraction that comes from the unpredictable women they’re with.
Of course, no man will ever tell you this or admit that he likes it.
Because even HE doesn’t consciously know that this is what’s going on in his head.
So how do BUNNY BOILER psychos relate to you and your love life, and why men choose one woman and not another?
Am I suggesting that you turn into a psycho- needy-bunny-boiling-stalker?
There are enough crazy men and women out there acting out in all kinds of ways.
But here’s the thing…
You can actually learn form the intense ATTRACTION that women (and men) who act like this create when they’re unpredictable.
Hold on a second.
Aren’t I telling you to basically “play games” here.
Not so fast.
I’m telling you that if you want to create INTENSE ATTRACTION between you and a man and keep him fantasizing about you and dying just to be around you, then there’s something to learn here.
Instead of being the “crazy” kind of high maintenance and manipulative unpredictable, try something else.
Interact with a man in a way that I call “PLAYFULLY UNPREDICTABLE”. You can act UNPREDICTABLE with a man, and still do it in a healthy and constructive way that won’t have you acting like a whacko or manipulate him in any negative or fake way.
And being UNPREDICTABLE with a man can not only create strong ATTRACTION. It can also create an amazing EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE that gets him out of his head and has him thinking about you.
Here’s an example or two to try out with being “Playfully Unpredictable”…
-Change plans on him and take him somewhere wild and unexpected when he thinks you’re just going to dinner somewhere you’ve both eaten before.
-Tease him when he might think you’re going to be sweet and gentle.
-Act and talk softly and gently when he thinks you’ll be loud and fired up or he’s used to you being cold or distant.
-Kiss him deeply and passionately, then walk off and leave him there wondering what just happened and thinking about you.
-Get excited and crazy while paying him no attention, even though he’s right next to you.
Don’t let him know what’s coming next, and he’ll be excited and anticipating each new experience.
Most men know how a woman is going to act on a date, or in a relationship when they’re with her.
Don’t let a man put you in that “every other girl he’s ever met” category.
These might sound simple. But if you actually DO THEM with a man, the way he responds will freak you out.
Now let’s get to the second question from before.
Here’s what it was in case you forgot-
2. What’s the FIRST THING a man notices about a woman that makes him think he could get SERIOUS with her?
The answer here might surprise you.
Men aren’t as shallow as you might believe.
There’s been some amazing studies done by psychologists over the last 10 to 15 years.
Looking over the results of these studies, there’s a consistent “theme” about men who entered into serious relationships or marriage.
And I came to the realization about what this theme was myself by experience and observation myself over the last several years.
Here it is.
All the men I had met who were in or had serious and committed relationships in the past shared something in common.
When they were asked about what REALLY got them interested in their girlfriends, wives, etc., they all basically responded in the same way.
No. They didn’t describe her hair, her body, etc.
Sure, lots of men mentioned this, but it was CRYSTAL CLEAR that this wasn’t the REASON that they were with the woman in their life.
The most common feature for a man to describe and attribute his attraction and desire to be with a woman in the long-term was about a specific quality of her PERSONALITY.
Now, now. I know this doesn’t look like rocket science or some big new discovery.
But it’s not just about personality.
More specifically, it’s about the EXPERIENCE that a woman’s personality creates when a man is around her – and how she makes him FEEL.
In other words, it’s a woman’s beauty that CAN attract a man. But it’s her personality that makes THE MAN FEEL SPECIAL and DIFFERENT around here that will interest him for the long term. Which begs the question…
Do you know HOW to create the kind of EXPERIENCE that will have a man FEELING and EXPERIENCING ATTRACTION and LOVE?
The kind of experiences that will have him asking YOU to settle down with HIM because he’s so into you?
Or do you want to do what lots of other women do with a man when they see he’s not FEELING IT.
They have “the talk” and start to worry about why he’s not being open and “available” the way he used to be?
And they push harder for things to be different.
I don’t have to tell you how that works out with a man, do I?
Didn’t think so.
In my ebook I’ve fessed up to the inside secrets of attraction with a man that will get him back to thinking about you and pursuing you – and not the other way around.
When did things get so turned around anyways?
The answer is, things never got turned around. Most women just STOPPED doing the things they used to do “naturally” and men responded – negatively.
But isn’t it supposed to be different? Isn’t the man SUPPOSED to be courting the woman?
That’s up for debate, and honestly not that important.
The truth is that if a woman wants to increase her odds of finding lasting affection and love with a man in the LONG TERM, then she needs to know how to get out of the role of the “Selectee”.
She needs to stop trying to show him or convince him to be with her… and instead, she needs to start using the LOVE and ATTRACTION TRIGGERS that actually WORK with men and don’t trigger their masculine isolated defenses instead.
I call the long term “love triggers” that women create with men “Intellectual Attraction”.
There’s a full Chapter in my book dedicated to the topic of creating both short term attraction and the longer term “Intellectual Attraction” that makes a man want to be with a woman for good.
It will give you details, tips and teach you step-by-step ways to be the woman and the EXPERIENCE that a man falls for.
And the best part is, he won’t even know why.
Once you start using these “natural” ways to create attraction and experiences with men, it will feel as comfortable and as natural as anything you’ve ever done.
And your love-life will start to fall into place and feel easy and free again.
So don’t wait and take years of missed time and potential pain to figure out how.
Go here and get all the details:
Get all the details and download your copy of the book here:
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Thanks and best of luck in life and love!